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Life is only what you wonder.

Monday, April 22, 2002

Gays Of Our Lives

Sometimes life is like a soap-opera.

OK! *cracks knuckes* Here's the scoop:
It's totally over between the husband and I.
Really. Totally. Over.
After breaking up and getting back together more times than I can count, the fat lady has finally sung.
The opera is over.

If I said it was easy, and that I wasn't upset or didn't cry, I'd be lying.

I've got so much to do!
Like moving out, for instance. I'm 'bout to go on a massive apartment search.

Then I have to see about getting utilities turned on, packing (ugh!) and moving (double ugh!) my stuff, buying a bed or futon.

Too much stuff!!!

OK- Things that happened recently:

After I blogged, the Ex (I guess I have to call him that now) and I talked about me moving out.
He said he wanted me to move out as soon as possible so his new boyfriend (!) could move in. It was actually very civilized.

I had to work that night and I had all these things on my mind. I was Super Server at work working extra hard so I wouldn't have time to think about anything else. The upside to that is I made very good tips!
When I got home from work the Ex wasn't there. I really didn't wanna be there at the apartment, so I decided to out for a drink or two.

Went to Leon's first for a quick one, then over to the Hippo. The Hippo was packed and I saw people I hadn't seen in ages. First there was Peter, who I dated briefly before I met Danny (the guy who I was with before the Ex). He gave me a big bear hug that lifted me off my feet. Wow!
Then there was Steve who I worked with at a resturant years ago, and he gives me a big hug too---which also lifts me off my feet.
It was definetly my day for big hugs!
That was fine with me--I needed cheering up.

Then I saw Alex who I've had the biggest crush on for years!
We flirt outrageously, and I think he likes me, but either I have a boyfriend when he doesn't or vice versa. Or course, he was there with his new boyfriend, Trevor.

Then I saw David.
We've known each other for awhile but never "hooked up". He invited me to a party (or "social opportunity" as he called it) he's having at his place in a few weeks.
Well, it was last call and he invited me to his place and I said yes.
Yes, I went home with him. Yes, we did the dirty deed.
I guess the reason that it happened was that I was feeling upset at everything that happened between me and G., I was feeling hurt and vulnerable, plus it was a way of getting back at him for cheating on me repeatedly and lying to me over and over.--Plus, I wanted to--he's sexy!

"Wonder Boy, you slut!" I can hear you saying.
Mea Culpa, OK?

Anyway, it was really nice. Very hot!!! *WOOF!!!!* (I don't "kiss and tell", so don't look for graphic details. If you want porn try Nifty Erotic Stories!)

No sooner than David dropped me off at home and kissed me goodbye (*WOW!*), I had to get ready for work.
Bleary-eyed I arrived at work and it was horrible!

See, I work with my Ex and no sooner than I got there he was asking me all this stuff like:
"Where were you last night? Why didn't you call to say you wouldn't be coming home? Didn't you think I'd be worried?"
and he demaned to know what happened, so I told him.
The Truth.
He was furious!

At one point, I actually thought he was going to hit me.

"HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!!!" he yelled.
It turned into this big shouting match outside the restaraunt. (It was just really bad. Does the word "drama" mean anything to you?)
After work, and we had calmed down some, we had a heart-to-heart talk which left me crying like a baby.

I can't help it. I still love him. I think a part of me always will.

Anyway, now I have to go and continue my apartment search. I'll keep you posted!