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Life is only what you wonder.

Monday, December 30, 2002

Have a Good One!

I've got alot to do, so I probably won't get another chance to post in here before the New Year. I still don't know what I'm doing or where I'm going, but I'm sure I'll figure out something.

To everyone out there who plans on party-ing: Don't drive drunk, choose a designated driver--you know the drill. The most important thing--BE SAFE!!
See ya next year!
(I just love saying that!)

Happy New Year!

Sunday, December 29, 2002

Beelzebub Has A Devil Put Aside For Me

It's been kind of slow lately at work. I thought since the restaraunt is close to the mall and that Wal-Mart is right down the street we'd be extra busy with all the people getting refunds, exchanging gifts, and using their gift certificates, but no dice.
Normally, I'd welcoime the quietness and enjoy the silence, but inactivity is more wearying to me than running around like a lunatic. Then, when someone finally does get seated at one of my tables I sish, I groan inside, I roll my eyes in back of my head, and I have to summon the energy to go over to wait on them. If my section is packed and I get a new table I'm just a big bundle of energy.
"Hi!!!!!", I practically shout in my enthusiasm, "My name is Jimmy, and I'll be your server!!!!!!!"
It's all about adreneline.

Decided to stop stressin' about New Year's. Whatever happens, happens. I'm staying local, but I'm defin'ly not going to The Hippo. They're charging $20 to get in there!
I've paid that much to get into The Limelight and The Roxy in NYC, but for The Hippo in Baltimore? Forget it.

Stopped in The Quest last night for "one quick cocktail" after work. While I was there someone played the entire Best of Queen CD on the jukebox.

. . . I see a little sillouetto of a man . . .
. . . We are the champions, my friend . . .
. . . We will, we will rock you (thump-thump-CLAP!) . . .
. . . All we hear is radio ga-ga . . .
. . . Another one bites the dust . . .
After about 5 songs or so, I was getting a little tired of Queen.
"Did someone play the whole fuggin' CD?!" I exclaimed in disgust after the 8th song played.
The answer, unfortunately, was yes.

Saturday, December 28, 2002

I'm On The Up!

I woke up today with alot of energy. I practically jumped out of bed ready for action! I didn't even brew a pot of coffee---didn't need or want any this morning, thanks.

I'm doing everything I can to try to make this New Year's Eve the best ever. I'm focusing all my energies in that direction.
It's almost an obsession at this point. It's all I'm thinking about. When I set my mind to something, you better watch out!
It's really important to me---and I'll tell you why.
Last New Year's was terrible. Really horrible. There aren't enough adjectives in my Thesaurus to describe it with total accuracy.
G. and I were having all these problems and . . .well, I don't wanna really get totally into it, but it was bad, OK? Really bad. Not like getting your teeth pulled, but almost.
New Year's Eve is supposed to be a happy time. Being miserable on a holiday like that just bites.
This year had some bright shiny moments. I'm not trying to say that this year totally sucked or anything, but this year was also full of alot of messed-up stuff.
If you read the archives for April and May, you'll know I'm right in saying that.
Truthfully, I'll be glad when 2002 is behind me. The New Year is kind of like a "clean slate", at least in my way of thinking.
It's not that all the bad stuff just "goes away" or that it never happened or anything.
It all happened. I don't suddenly get amnesia. It's just easier to put it all behind me.
To say, in essence, "OK, that was the past. Stop kicking yourself in the ass over this, Jimmy. Learn from it, and move on."
(I kick my own ass over things much more than G. or anyone else ever does.)
I don't make New Year's resoloutions. I think you should make resoloutions all year 'round. If you see something in yourself, or about yourself you think you need to change, why wait 'til January 1st?

Anyway, there's only so much I can do, at this point. I can't predict the future more than anybody else. I can only try to make it the best I can.
The rest is up to Fate.

Thursday, December 26, 2002

It's All Over!

OK, Christmas is over, finished, kaput, done.
Thank Goodness!
I did get some nice stuff, but I'm totally broke at this point.

Now I have to concentrate on having a bangin' New Year's. The only fly in my ointment is the fact that I have to open on New Year's Day. I can just imagine how cross and hung over I'm going to be.
Since I'm opening that pretty much rules out going to New York, or even Washington DC for that matter. I guess I'll just stay local.

Went out to Central Station last night and it was packed. To get any more queens in that place last night you'd need a lubricant! I had fun, but I stayed out too late and drank too much. I'd had all this egg nog before I went out, and that, plus the 3 drinks I had while I was there . . .well, let's just say I was feeling no pain. I had a killer headache when I woke up this morning, let me tell you. It felt like my brain was too big for my skull. That's the price you pay, I guess.

Tuesday, December 24, 2002

Ho, Ho, Ho!


Everybody have a wonderful and SAFE Christmas!

Sunday, December 22, 2002

Your Caption Here

Use the comment link to add a caption.

Vanessa, a server, was handing out Christmas cards yesterday at work. Everyone else's cards had a candy cane taped to the envelope. Mine had a lollipop.
"Oh, I get the one with the sucker, huh? Vanessa, are you trying to tell me something?"

Saturday, December 21, 2002

I Want To Be The Boy With The Most Cake

I didn't end up going to the Book Thing after all.
Once I realized it was at Charles and 26th street.
It was much too far to walk and I wasn't about to take the bus. I take the bus enough as it is.

I got a wonderful surprise when I checked the mail yesterday. My insect friend send me a CD he made. It made my day just to receive it, and it was surprisingly good.
I put it in my Discman and was grinning from ear to ear.
A genuine joy.

Life Is Only What You Wonder

I did a search on Yahoo! and typed "Wonder Boy" in the search feild and one of the results was this:
    Wonder boy, life's just begun!
    Turn your sorrow into wonder!
    Dream alone
    Don't sigh, don't groan
    Life is only what you wonder.

    Day is as light as your brightest dreams,
    Night is as dark as it ought to be.
    Time is as fast as the slowest thing,

    Life is only...

    Wonder Boy
    Wonder Boy.
    Everybody is looking for the sun.
    People strain their eyes to see,
    But I see you and you see me,
    And ain't that a wonder?

    Wonder Boy, some mother's son,
    Life is full of work and plunder.
    Easy go -- life's not real
    Life is only what you conjure.

    Wonder Boy,
    And the world is joy -- every single day!
    It's the real McCoy,
    Wonder Boy.

    Everybody is looking for the sun.
    People strain their eyes to see,
    But I see you and you see me,
    And ain't that a wonder?

    Wonder Boy, some mother's son,
    Turn your sorrow into wonder!
    Dream alone, go have your fun.

    Life is only...
    Life is only...
    Life is only...
Cool! There's a Wonder Boy song!

Apparently, it's by The Kinks.

Defin'ly gotta aquire it somehow.

Friday, December 20, 2002

Vive La Difference!

I worked a day shift again yesterday.
I know they need more people for day shift and that's why I was scheduled so many of them, but those early mornings are screwing up my internal clock something terrible.
I'm back on night shift tonight, so I got to sleep in today.
I woke up about a half an hour ago.
That's more like it!

Got a surprise when Jay, a dishwasher, came into work yesterday to pick up his paycheck. Not too long ago a couple of co-workers kept saying how cute he was and they asked my opinion, and truthfully, he's not bad-looking, but he's not GQ either and that's what I told them.
Well, today he came in and he was clean-shaven instead of he two or three days of stubble he usually sports.
For once, his greasy-looking unkempt hair looked freshly washed and he had a spiffy new haircut, and instead of his sloppy oversized uniform he was wearing regular clothes that actually fit him.
It was amazing the difference it made. I saw him and I was like "Stop the press! Who is that?". Then I realized who it was and was like "Damn!"
It reminded me of Ricki Lake where they do those before-and-after makeover things.

I managed to hang our Christmas stockings and put a few decorations up. That's about as Christmas-y as I'm going to get this year.

Been trying to reach my buddy Fireguy. I've got something for Christmas I've been wanting to send him, but that dirty bird hasn't emailed me back yet. I hope I hear from him soon or it'll be too late.

I'm still racking my brain trying to figure out the New Year's thing and what I wanna do.
I better hurry--time is running out.

Wednesday, December 18, 2002

Surprise, Surprise!

I worked a day shift today and we were slow as Hell, but it's over with and now I can relax.
I went to bed early last night (10:30 PM) so I would be well-rested today, but I just couldn't fall asleep.
I should've known better than to try and sleep that early. I just can't do it.
I lie awake staring at the ceiling for hours. The only way for me to go to bed at 10:30 and actually sleep is to take a Tylenol PM, or if I didn't sleep the night before.
I'm just a night-person, I guess.

I've gotta make a point to check out The Book Thing this weekend. It's at the rear entrance of 2645 North Charles Street, apparantly in the basement, and it's shelves and shelves of books that they're giving away. It's completely free and there's no limit to how many you can take. I love to read and I'm always looking for a new book to enjoy, so going there is at the top of my Things To Do list.

Has everyone seen the photo of Nightmare Boy he recently posted?
I didn't know he was so sexy! What a pleasant surprise!
Go on, you sexy thang!

Tuesday, December 17, 2002

Blinded By The Light

I went out last night to The Quest.
It was kind of boring, actually. They put up at least a gazillion Christmas lights all over the place so you're practically blinded when you walk in the door.
I saw my good friend Keith there, which was pretty cool. I considered playing pool for a moment, but decided against it. I had left my cue at home and the sticks they have there are just terrible. I could play better with a branch I snapped off a tree.
Speaking of bars: I don't go to straight bars much, so I don't know, but whenever I go out, it doesn't matter what city, what bar, whatever, but when I walk through the door everyone turns around to look to see who it is. I swear, I could take a panoramic camera and walk through the door of the Hippo and snap a picture and everyone's face would be on it!

It's too late for Christmas cards, so I won't be sending any this year, and I still haven't done any shopping yet.
But I did take the big box of Christmas decorations out of the back of the closet and I'll be "decking the halls" pretty soon.
(Actually, my apartment doesn't have any halls, but you get what I mean, I'm sure.)

Trying to get into the Christmas spirit. I would play some holiday music to help me get there, but I'm already sick of it. I've been listening to Christmas carols every day at work since 2 days before Thanksgiving.

Trying to come up with a good New Year's idea.
New York?
hmmmmmm. Maybe.

Monday, December 16, 2002

I Am So Behind

Things I have done recently:
  • worked my ass off
  • cleaned the apartment
  • got my hair did
  • payed all my bills

Things I have not done:
  • sent Christmas cards
  • bought Christmas pesents for anyone
  • decorated the apartment
  • bought a Christmas tree

I'm so behind, I'm almost ashamed of myself!

Is there anyone else who is less prepared for Xmas than me, or am I the only one?

Who's In Control?

More and more every day I'm realizing the impact of additude on life.
Additude is more important than facts, than the past, than education, than circumstances, than failure, than what other people think or say or do.
I am convinced that that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.

Like this:
I had been getting all bunged up because of the "power struggle" at work, and because of the Monty thing. So I thought about it awhile and came to the realization that by getting all upset and anxious that, in a sense, I was giving these people power over me! I was allowing them to affect me. Instead of acting, I was reacting.
Action and reaction. Stimulous and response. Cause and effect.
You learned it in science class, remember? That's what amoebas do!!
So, once the light-bulb went off over my head I made the decision that, although I can't change the past or alter the inevitable (whatever that is), I can decide my additude, and my actions.

So that's just what I'm going to do!

Friday, December 13, 2002

Mama Said Knock You Out!

There's this 18 year old slutpuppy that I've seen at The Quest, and hanging around outside the other bars he can't get into and they just hired him at work!
His name's Monty and he's a total mess!

Well he met my husband recently, and gave him a look like he was a starving man and my husband was a platter of cheeseburgers.
I'm gonna make this real clear the next time I see him:
try anything with my husband and I will beat you bloody.

I'm so sick of people hitting on him--or me for that matter-- when it's obvious that when we're together that we're a couple.

Don't gay people have respect for relationships?

Thursday, December 12, 2002


I'm so sick of work. I know, I keep saying it, but is so true! This bitch woman at work has been giving me such a hard time. She's the "Head" Crew Leader and ever since I was promoted to Crew Leader she's been challenging me at every opportunity.
There's no such thing as "teamwork" with her, it's all about her telling people what to do.
I never tell people what to do--I ask them nicely. If it doesn't get done, then I start to get ugly. She orders people around like a drill seargent.
Finally I'd had enough of it and called a meeting with her and the General Manager. I explained what had been happening and the GM chastised her for it, so hopefully I'll get more cooperation in the future.

Been hanging at this bar near Fell's Point called The Quest lately. It's an OK place.
There are all these underage male hustlers that hang out there, which I would't care about except they keep bumming cigarettes all the time!
"Hey, can I buy a cigarette from you?"
If you can't support your habit, you shouldn't have one! I don't expect anyone to buy me cocktails or give me cigarettes. I'm not a cigarette machine that will dispense a cigarette whenever you need one.
I tell them to get lost.

Need to get my hair "did" but can't make an appointment 'til this monday. Oh, well. I'll just be a shaggy mess until then I guess.

Wednesday, December 11, 2002

In the Mix

I'm the DJ! I'm the DJ!

Finally figured out how to burn my own CDs on my computer yesterday. It's something I've been wanting to do lately, but haven't had the time. After tinkering around awhile and not getting anywhere I broke down and actually read the "Help" section of the Windows Media Player.
It's amazing how easy something can be once you know how!
So I've been going crazy burning CDs. I've already burned 3 so far.
One I made special for a certain insect and I'll be sending it along sometime soon.

Haven't had time to read anyone's blogs lately or check my email, so that's what I'm gonna do now.

Tuesday, December 10, 2002

No Apologies

OK, no apologies from me about the lack of posting lately.
They're trying to kill me at the restaraunt, I think, working me all the time. I haven't worn anything but my uniform in three days!

Yesterday I worked all day, from open to close. Only one other person did that and he was the manager.

Ah, enough of that!

Anyway, the Employee Christmas party was last night. It was at this VFW Moose Lodge.
To get the idea of the Moose Lodge pictire a very big building built in , oh, probably 1964 or something. The once-white walls are brown from all the years of cigarette smoke. Big round tables resembling those cable spools the electric company uses covered with red plastic disposable tablecloths.
If you can picture that, you've got an exact idea of what this place was like.
It wasn't the Ritz, but It was OK, I guess. It served it's pourpose.
I came directly from work, so I was still in my uniform.
They had a raffle to win prizes. The prizes were actually nice this year for a change: a DVD Player, a couple CD players, a George Foreman grill.
I'm not lucky that way, so I wasn't surprised when I didn't win anything.

Left a little early and went to Leon's, then home to bed--I was tired. I gotta get ready for work now.
My schedule is a lot lighter this week, So I'll be posting more in the future.

Friday, December 06, 2002

Hot Beanie Boy

I love my friend mike. He's so adorably clueless sometimes.
We're out walking around and he spots this guy, and this is our conversation.
Mike: Jimmy, look! That guy is gorgeous!
Jimmy: He sure is. And he's Jewish.
Mike: I don't care if he's an alien from outer space. (pause) How do you know he's Jewish?
Jimmy: He's wearing a yarmulke.
Mike: A what?
Jimmy: That thing on his head.
Mike: Oh, you mean his beanie!
Jimmy: Yes, Mike, his "beanie".

Thursday, December 05, 2002

Oh, The Weather Outside Is Frightful . . .

It's snowing like crazy out there.
I don't have anywhere I have to be, so I'm staying put right here. It's amazing to me how snow can turn the most mudane (or even ugly) scenery into something beautiful.

Went out last night and had a good time. The first stop was Allegro for Dollar Drink Night. Jason was working, and it was great seeing him.
(I swear, if I wasn't married I would be all over Jason. He's so hot. He's nice too. No attitude. It's very refreshing--and rare.)
They were playing Hip-Hop music lat the Allegro ast night!. That never happens! It was a nice change.
Next stop was Central Station and I ran into my friend Sean, and Eric (from YMS). Stayed out 'til last call. The barback was getting really forceful with us. "OK, FELLAS! TIME TO GO! MOVE TOWARD THE EXIT!!!" he bellowed. That's why I hate staying that late.
Oh, well. I had fun, though.

Gonna fix a cup of hot chocolate and stay in the house and stay warm. I'm not going to do anything unless I absolouley have to.
So what else is new?

Wednesday, December 04, 2002

A Kiss Is Just A Kiss?

The "right" kind of kiss the "right" way is very important.
If a man kisses me the right way he can have anything he wants!

I read an article (I think in Out, but I'm not for sure) that some gay men don't kiss at all.
That's terrible!
But then some straight people probably don't kiss also.
I just don't understand it.
Kissing is one of my favorite things!

Weatherman Says . . .

The weatherman said it was gonna snow today, but I haven't seen a single flurry yet. That's OK. I could really do without it. I'm sure it'll be snowing soon enough, even if it doesn't happen today.

It's cold as a Wiccan's mammary appendage out there, though!
Yesterday all the grocery stores were mobbed with people buying toilet paper, milk, bread and eggs. All white things. I wonder if sales of mayonaise and marshmallow fluff also increase when the announce a possible snowfall?

Found out that the annual company Christmas party will be Monday, December 9th, and instead of being held in the restaraunt it's going to be in some "Moose Lodge." Don't know exactly what a "moose lodge" is. It reminds me of "The Fraternal Order of Water Buffalo", the group Fred belonged to on The Flintstones.
As always, I will try to keep an open mind.

Tuesday, December 03, 2002

Yeah, Dammit!

Remember the post where I was annoyed when I would say something and people would respond "Really?"
Lately when people ask that I've been responding "Yeah, dammit!"
It comepletely stuns them for a second.
The looks on thier faces are priceless!
As an added benefit, after I've said "Yeah, dammit!" to them a few times, they stop asking me "Really?"
--which is what I wanted all along!

No Need To Argue

I tried to post earlier, but Blogger was unable to publish it, so I had to wait 'til now.
Oh, well. Least it's up, right?

The Crew Leader meeting was more of the same old thing: More cleaning needs to be done around the restaraunt, everyone needs to be in thier proper uniform, no gossiping.
Blah blah blah
I agree with everything that was mentioned, it's getting people to work is such a pain in the ass! Ferinstance, I had this girl argue with me when I told her section needed some touching up.
She spent more time arguing with me than it would have taken to correct the problem.
Jeez Louise! Stop fussing and do it, dammit!
(Don't make me get ugly! I'm not pretty when I'm ugly!)
Needless to say, it can be frustrating.

The ironic thing is the woman who's the worst when it comes to gossip looks almost exactly like Gladys Kravitz, the Stevens' nosy neighbor on Bewitched.

Work Is Never Over

I've been working double shifts every day for the past week and I'm SO over it it's not funny. Today was the first day I've been able to wear "regular clothes" instead of my uniform! I haven't had time to do anything. At least not anything fun.
When all I do is work I start to get really angry at the world.
Plus, I've been bombarded with Christmas music every minute I'm at the restaraunt. It's barely December and I'm already sick of it.
It's my day off and I still have to go to work because there's a crew leader meeting at 3 today. I can't escape!

OK, enough bitchin'.

Remember that post not too long ago where I had a feeling "something was going on"? I'm not going to get into the details, but it turns out I was right!
Damn, I'm good!