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Life is only what you wonder.

Thursday, February 27, 2003

Isn't It Ironic?

Weary. And I just woke up. Defiin'ly not a good sign.
I went to bed early (way early, like aroung 8:30, which harldy ever happens) intending on getting some really good sleep so I would be all bright-eyed and bushy tailed today. A nice idea, but things never work out the way you expect they will. A strange dream (which I can't remember at this point) woke me up a little after 3AM and I tried to go back to sleep, but didn't succeed until after 5AM. Now I feel more tired than I did before I went to bed last night. I have a steaming cup of joe in front of me, which I will gulp down as soon as it cools off a bit. Hopefully that'll do the trick

Back to work again tonight at the crazy house.
Don't pray for me, pray for my crew, 'cause I gotta feeling that tonight I'm gonna be a bitch.

Wednesday, February 26, 2003

I Don't Mind Them Pokemon
Just As Long As They Leave Me Alone

I just woke up. I rubbed my eyes, got up out of bed and said "It's going to be a good day!"
Then I made the mistake of looking out my window and discovered it was snowing again.
It's a fine powdery snow and it doesn't seem to be sticking to anything, but that's not the point! I'm just tired of the winter weather and stuff (rain, snow, sleet, hail) falling from the sky.

I'm planning on today being a very lazy day. The housework is pretty much done so I don't have that looming over me, making me feel guilty when I see dishes in the sink that need to be loaded in the dishwasher, or a pile of clothes that scream "Wash me!" when I glance in their direction. My closets are still in a state of disarray, however. But that's an all day task and I don't know if I can summon up the energy to tackle it.

Off today and I'm not even going to think about work.
Oops, too late--I just did--but that'll be the last time today.

Monday, February 24, 2003

Cruisin'

I had a good day yesterday. Even my crew, who refuses to work together as a team and does absoloutley as little as they have to didn't really get me down. I refused to let things get to me. I told myself that it was going to be a good day no matter what happened. You know what? It worked!
I actually got out of there extra early (which doesn't happen that often). I saw my chance and I dashed out the door like my tail was on fire and I didn't look back.
Free at last!

Ran into my good friend Jon at The Quest. He told me he was thinking of going on a cruise with his lover and asked me if me and my hubby (my hubby and I?) would want to go too. I've always wanted to go on a cruise ever since I saw The Love Boat, so I said I'd think it over. It wouldn't be 'til the fall, so I have planty of time to make up my mind.

Anyhoo, I need to get my butt up and start my day.
Don't have anything planned for today, I'm just going to be existential.

Attentive readers will note I changed the look of the Wonder Blog slightly. It wasn't the big change I'd been planning, but it's a start.

Two Can Play That Game

In response to Bradford's latest post, I decided to give it a go also.

(No my ego isn't really that big.
I'm just havin' fun, y'all!)

Sunday, February 23, 2003

Use It Up And Wear It Out

OK, let me just warn you in advance that this post is going to be a not-quite random hodgepodge of various things that have been going on lately.
I'll try to be as coherent as I can.

I was totally right on in my prediction that work was going to be crazy on friday.
In fact, "pandemonium" might be a better word for it. It was more taxing on my brain than my body, though, and I was so glad when we finally closed and we could clean up the battlefield and leave.
So after all that, I just had to go out for a drink.
It wasn't an option, really.
So anyway, on my way to The Quest I was hearing these horrible noises: wailing, screeching, moaning, the howling of wolves and coyotes--what could it possibly be?
I got my answer when I stepped inside: Karaoke night.
After all that I had went through, I had to put up with "singing" that sounded more like a moose dying in agony in a rainstorm. I didn't stay long--my poor ears couldn't take it.
Instead of going home, like my good sense was telling me, I decided to have a quick drink at my favorite dive bar (and I mean that in the nicest possible way) Leon's, but they had closed early, so I went to the Drinkery instead. Absoloutly nothing was going on there, but I didn't mind a bit. I enjoyed the peace and quiet, had my drink and went home.

I totally forgot to set the alarm clock so I overslept Saturday morning. I guess I needed it because I felt pretty energetic yesterday and the whites of my eyes were actually white instead of bloodshot.
it was another grueling day, but not quite as bad as the night before. The worst thing was the tables weren't turning as fast as they should have. More people kept pouring in and we had no place to seat them. Then, when we finally got them seated, they were all grumpy from having to wait so long.

Today is another day! I'm going to keep positive.

Oh, yeah, I found out yesterday that I'm "employee of the month" for the month of January. My name's on the plaque and they gave me a special shirt to wear.
Woo-hoo!

Saturday, February 22, 2003

Grope it

I don't know why, but this picture is just too hot, even though you can't see his face.

Friday, February 21, 2003

Or Not

I taped the show Are You Hot? that came on last night, but I haven't had a chance to watch it yet. Maybe I'll watch it after I finish this. Anyway, judging from the photos on Todd's blog, it's going to be pretty good.

I'm absoloutly dreading going to work tonight. Everyone's been snowed in for the last couple of days, so they're probably a little stir-crazy. I predict it's going to be pretty busy in the restaraunt. We're still doing that "all you can eat crab legs" special on Fridays and Saturdays so it's probably going to get a little crazy.
I can't wait until March 1st, when it's over.

Not much else going on at the moment.
This will change. (It always does!)

Thursday, February 20, 2003

And Another Thing . . .

I rearranged the furniture in the apatment yesterday. The bedroom, living room, and dining room are all completely different.
It's theraputic.
When I'm blah and bored, and feeling like everyday is the same old thing, I rearrange the furniture or get a new hairdo.
It restoreth my soul.

The next thing on my "list" is buying some CD towers for all my discs. Right now they're sitting on the floor in these wooden ammunition boxes. The boxes themselves are pretty cool. They have "9 CARTRIDGE 60MM ILLUMINATING PROJECTILE WITH FUSE TIME" stamped on the front, along with a lot number. Funky, right?
The trouble is they're bulky, in the way, and I keep stubbing my toes on them.
You'd think I'd remember where they were by now.

All my books, which were in stacks on the bedroom floor are stacked on a shelf in the closet until I get a bookcase or shelf unit of some kind.
(No more milk crates!)
It'll happen soon.
Maybe that's what I'll do with my tax money. Which should be coming back any day now.

That's another thing. I mailed my tax forms about a week and a half ago, and now I'm as eager as a kid on Christmas morning, checking the mailbox 2 or 3 times a day to see if my refund is in there.
I need to calm down a little about it, I think.
I get too obsessive about stuff sometimes.

Boys, Boys, All Type of Boys
Black, White, Puerto Rican, Chinese Boys

I don't know what's come over me. Maybe I've got some kind of hormonal imbalence or something, but I've been noticing all these hot guys lately.
I mean really noticing.
I was chattin' with my buddy Frenzi about this just the other day.
Wonder Boy:What does it mean when I stare at cute guys?
Frenzi: Everyone does that. It's no big deal.
Wonder Boy: I'm talking more than normal. Staring up and down, undressing them with my eyes, thinking dirty thoughts. Stuff like that.
Frenzi: So? Everyone does that. I do it all the time. I "fell in love" 3 times on the train to work this morning! It's perfectly normal.
Wonder Boy: Really? I've been feeling like some kind of sex fiend or something.
Frenzi: You're nor more of a "sex fiend" than anyone else is, believe me. It's not like you're actually doing anything. You're just looking, right?
Wonder Boy: Yeah, just looking. It was bothering me a little, though.
Frenzi: Don't worry about it. Your hubby probably does the same thing.
And the thing of it is, he's probably right. My "hubby" probably does do the same thing. But that doesn't make it right, does it?
I know that looking isn't the same as doing, and I guess I shouldn't let it bother me, but it kind of does anyway.

Tuesday, February 18, 2003

Let Me Show You The World In My Eyes


Let me take you on a trip
Around the world and back
And you won't have to move, you just sit still


I just found out that my good friend Mike just got out of the hospital. He had pneumonia. What bothered me the most was that I didn't find out about it until afterward.
I was really angry.
I said "Mike, why didn't you tell me?"
He was like "I didn't tell anyone. I didn't want anyone to worry or make a fuss over me."
On the one hand, I can respect that. I don't like people making a big fuss over me either.
But on the other hand (and there's always another hand with me) if something really serious had happened, like he had died, I wouldn't have known until after it was too late. It just got me thinking about how fragile we all are and how we (most of us, anyway) take things for granted. I walk along thinking that today will be pretty much like tomorrow and that I'll be here along with everyone else. I walk along feeling immortal, and things like this kind of wake you up and make you realize just how mortal we all are.

It snowed like crazy the past couple of days, dumping 26 inches over Baltimore. Supposedly, that's a record for the amount of snow we've gotten. (It hasn't snowed this much in Baltimore since 1866 or something like that.)
My back is killing me from all the snow I shoveled, just to get out of the apartment.
It's poetic justice, I think, considering in my last post I poo-pooed people who freak out when it snows and I was trapped in the apartment with hardly any food and only one roll of toilet paper. Someone upstairs was trying to teach me a lesson.
The only good thing about all this snow was that the restaraunt was closed the last couple of days, so I didn't have to work. Of course, so was everything else, So I couldn't properly enjoy my time off as much as I would've liked.
Back to work tonight.
In fact, I gotta start getting ready. I'm going in early today to see if I can't come on the floor and make a few extra dollars.

Saturday, February 15, 2003

Go Through It

My nose was all stuffy when I got up this morning. When I got up to brush my teeth I could feel it draining, and I could breathe again.
I hope I'm not getting another cold, because that would really suck. I just had a cold (or virus, or something) 2 months ago, dammit!
Who likes getting sick, right?
Unfortunatly, I don't think there's anything I can do but just wait and see what happens.

It snowed last night. Not much, really, but it's amazing to me how people totally freak out when it snows.
"It's snowing! It's snowing! Gotta get to the grocery store for milk, eggs, and toilet paper!!!"

Yesterday, was Valentine's Day.
(I used to call it "VD Day", but people don't say "VD" anymore.)
Anyway, I had to work last night. I tried, but there was no getting out of it.
I guess there are alot of people either in bad relationships, or disfunctional ones, because almost everybody was in a really foul mood.
I'm waiting tables and trying my best to be friendly and everyone's barking at me and practically biting my head off.
I wasn't about to let it get to me, though.

Went to The Quest after work.
There weren't any happy people there either!
I didn't stay long. I had one Long Island Iced Tea and then I went home.
That's the problem with Valentine's Day, I think. There's too much pressure to be in a "happy coupling" on that day.
If you don't have a relationship, or the relationship you do have is bad, then youre bound to be upset and/or depressed!

Sending positive thoughwaves to my very good friend Fireguy who's Going Through Stuff.
Keep looking up!

Friday, February 14, 2003

Love, Love, Love

Keith Haring - 'Love'We live for love
Love is a many splendored thing
What I did for love
Love, love me do
Why do fools fall in love?
Love rollercoaster
Love to love ya, baby
In love with love
Love in an elevator
Can't get enough of your love, baby
Love makes the world go 'round
The power of love
All you need is love
Love child
Love is a many-splendored thing
Where did our love go?
The glory of love
Love is a battlefield
The greatest love of all

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

Thursday, February 13, 2003

Days Go By

Went out to Central Station last night. It was kind of dead there--everyone was playing Bingo at The Hippo.
( I never thought Bingo would be so popular, but but in order to get any more queens in there on Bingo Night you'd need a lubricant.)
I like going upstairs at Central to watch the videos. They were playing all the usual "gay stuff" (Britney Spears, Madonna, Nsync) and I was kind of bored, but then they played "Work It" by Missy Elliott and all this other Hip-Hop stuff and I'm totally surprised.
WTF?
They're playing Hip-Hop in Central Station? That never happens!!!
I thought I had wandered into a strange Alternate Universe or something.
There's a hot bartender who works upstairs named Iker.
("Like 'biker' without the 'b' ." he explained to me.)
He's latino and is built like a brick outhouse.
*woof!*
It's about time they hired some sexy bartenders. So tired of being waited on by that loudmouth drag queen Tia Chambers.
Anyway, I had fun.


I gotta go 'cause there's lots to do around the house today. It's gotta be done and, unfiortunately, it's not going to do itself.

From my work-in-progress:
"Still Lives"

    His lover stood at the foot of the bed, his face was as cold and unemotional as the statues in the park where they used to go when they first met.

    "It's all your selfishness," his lover said, "You think the world revolves around you, but it doesn't. Why can't you think of me for a change?"

    "I do think of you. All the time," he said sullenly, sucking on his cigarette, curled up in a naked flesh-colored ball on the rumpled sheets they had gotten as a wedding present.

    "And why is it that I'm the selfish one?" he continued, "You want it your way, I want it mine--yet I'm the selfish one. How can that be?"

    He exhaled, and the smoke looked lavender-colored in the dim slanty light peeking through the half-closed ventian blinds.
    He heard a bird chirping outside the window as he tapped his ash in the large glass ashtray next to him on the marble-topped bedside table.
    He sighed and closed his eyes, then inhaled deeply on the cigarette between his fingers while he waited for the reply to his question.


Wednesday, February 12, 2003

All You Need Is Love

Here's my horoscope from Free Will astrology:

Libra

"Any thought that is not filled with love seems unholy," observed French writer Andre Gide. That's a pretty high standard, I know, but I advise you to do your best to meet it in the coming week; it's the most practical thing you can do to ensure your success.
No matter what situation comes up, you'll thrive as long as you ask yourself, "How can I bring more love into the mix?"
Now please recite these words from Leo Tolstoy as if they were your own:
"Love is life. All, everything that I understand, I understand only because I love. Everything is, everything exists, only because I love."
It won't be easy, but I'll try.

Note to Joey:
Happy Birthday, Sweetie! Wishing you only the best!!!!

Tuesday, February 11, 2003

See Ya 'Round Downtown!

I swear, I run into more people I know when I'm dashing around downtown running errands, then at any other time.
I just got back from going downtown to pay the rent. I was going to take the Light Rail train, but the rental office isn't really that far from my apartment, so I figured I'd save the $1.35 and walk instead.
It was kind of breezy out, but it was actually very refreshing.
Two blocks from my house I run into Taneesha, this girl who works at my restaraunt, so I'm like "Hay, Miss Thing!!!"
Then, 3 blocks later I run into Richie, who I worked with at Nordstrom and I haven't seen in years. So we stopped and chewed the fat for a couple of minutes.
Then a couple blocks later, I run into Sean, a cutie-pie who I used to work with. He's a hairdresser and I mentioned to him I was thinking about getting highlights and asked his opinion. He said he thought it was a great idea and said he'd do them for me for free If I bought the supplies. He said at the Beauty Outlet where he gets his materials, the cost for the highlighting stuff is only around $5.
We exchanged numbers, so that'll probably happen soon. I want to wait a couple of weeks for my hair to grow a little longer, though.

The church at the corner of Charles and Franklin St. always has these "inspirational quotes" in the window that change every week. Here's the one that's on there now:

"From wonder
unto wonder
existence opens."

--Lao-Tse

Anyway, gotta get ready for work in a little while.
I actually get 2 days off in a row this week--how cool is that?!

Sunday, February 09, 2003

Too Much Is Not Enough

Work's been kind of tough the last couple of days, but I can't complain too much really, because I've been making money hand over fist!
I've been in a really good mood lately, which is a Good Thing.
Some people really enjoy bitching and complaining, but I don't really.
I'd much rather be smiling.

I rearranged the furniture in the living room, and it looks pretty good, so I'm happy about that. But somehow the filter to my fish tank got broken in the process, so now I have to go to the fish store to buy another one.
They're not that expensive, it's just I'm not really going to have time to do it until Wednesday when I'm off.
Until then, poor Lester, Leon, and Whitey are going to have to swim around in dirty unfiltered water.

The Rules Of The Soap-Opera Universe

I love daytime soaps, especially The Young and the Restless but it's obvious the "rules" of the Soap Opera Universe (SOU) aren't the same as our own.
Here are some of my observations:
  • Dramatic pauses are a requirement after a probing question or before revealing a secret.
    Ex: "Alex, how could you cheat on me?!?!?"
    ---dramatic pause
    ---camera comes in close
    ---music swells
    ---cut to commerxial or next scene

  • Time doesn't pass in the SOA the way it does in our own, One small instance which would take only a few minutes of our time can take 5 days (or more) to happen. Holidays still occur when they're supposed to, however.

  • Everyone is related to everyone else somehow, yet amazingly, no one commits incest.

  • Children go to a magical boarding school as toddlers and return 6 to 8 months later as teenagers.

  • People can suddenly have chronic problems retroactively.
    Ex: Rex's wife dies tragically and his friends and relatives make comments like "I hope rex doesn't start drinking again. He's always had this terrible drinking problem." when it was never shown before that he ever had any such problem and he was even shown having a cocktail a couple of months previously.
    Suddenly, without warning, Rex is an alchoholic--and always has been.

  • Relationships never work. A happy couple in the SOU is a divorce waiting to happen.

  • People in the SOA are replaced by people that look kind of like them--but nobody notices!
  • Saturday, February 08, 2003

    Where Are You Goin'

    I just checked my "referrer log" on my site tracker. It's interesting to see where people are coming from, or how they got here.
    People find this site in the craziest ways.
    Here's a list of some of the things people were searching for and -surprise!- found the Wonder Boy blog instead:
    melissa mtv real world sexy pics
    DEODERANT COMMERCIALS
    virginia beach prostitute
    i'm a model and i need to lose weight fast for a show
    i hate u in different languages
    tattoo of a drunk donkey with a hat
    The last one surprised me the most.
    I hope they found what they were looking for!

    Friday, February 07, 2003

    Here's Looking At You

    We have a new dishwasher at work. His name is Billy and he is beautiful.
    Hot.
    Totally effin' gorgeous.
    *sigh*
    To look that good without hardly any effort should be a sin.

    You know, I used to think that when you were in a relationship, that suddenly you wouldn't look at other people or find them attractive. I soon found out I was totally wrong. Where did I get that crazy idea from?
    At first, in the beginning of our relationship, it was that way. If the most gorgeous man on the planet walked by, I wouldn't even have seen him. But then, when you're at that stage everything has a "glow" about it. You even find your partners belches to be charming--because they're his.

    Relationships would be too easy if either partner found no others attractive or desirable.
    I don't see any harm in just looking, although some of my friends would disagree with me on this.

    This is the key, the secret:
    Just because temptation is there doesn't mean you have to give in to it.

    Thursday, February 06, 2003

    Wonder Boy Unplugged

    I took a couple of days off from blogging and the internet. The Wonder Boy blog was s'posed to have "a brand new look" by today, but I've been really lazy about it lately.
    Sorry, sorrier, sorriest!
    I'm gonna try to be better about that in the future.

    (I know, I know, I've said it before, but I really mean it this time!)

    BTW, if you're choosing colors for a web page, the Color Picker is a really valuable tool. Check it out.

    Forced To Live

    I've been thinking Deep Thoughts lately. About my life and life in general.
    Like this:

    Life itself is the biggest enigma of all. Think about it. You're born into the world (without the benefit of being asked first) and you have absoloutely no choice in your parents, genes, gender, relatives, mental capacity, athletic prowess, or artistic ability.
    You have to take what you get and go with it.

    I'm finding the longer I live the more myself I've become (and becoming). The "me" that existed earlier was just a shadow of what I am now. Just like the person I am now is only a fragment of what I will one day be.
    (The same is true for you, dear reader, just in case you didn't know.)

    We never stop learning, growing, and evolving. It's impossible not to. It happens whether we want it to or not.

    I have taken a bite of the apple of life and found it to be green--but sweet.

    Saturday, February 01, 2003

    The Groundhog Is The Enemy

    OK, Tomorrow is Groundhog Day and depending on whether or not the groundhog sees his shadow either Spring is Coming Soon or they'll be six more weeks of winter.

    They need to put sunglasses on him or something, because I'm sick of this cold weather.
    It probably fixed somehow, anyway. They probably read the Farmer's Almanac to see what the weather supposed to be like.
    Plus, how's the groundhog supposed to tell someone if he saw his shadow or not?
    Whatever. I'm just hoping he predicts an early Spring.

    I am gifted with second sight!
    It was just like I thought it would be at work with the never-ending Crab Legs special my restaraunt is running. The words "all-you-can-eat" bring out the pigs in people. It kind of makes me sick to see people gorging themselves, though.
    Can I say I would act any different?
    Actually, yes I can.

    I'm Coming Out - Part 5
    "Pride - A Deeper Love"

    I woke up groggy. I didn't get to sleep the night before until about 4 AM.
    Then, like a flash of lightning I realized what day it was!
    Gay Pride Day!

    It was June, 1988 and for five months or so I had been living in my very first apartment. The rent was $150 for a "studio" the size of my current living room. The other tenants in my building were were hookers and/or druggies, the hallway had a funny cabbage-like smell, and I had about a million cockroaches as roommates, but it was my apartment, dammit!
    I had declared war on the roaches right after I moved in and spent half my paycheck on Roach-Prufe, Borax, Roach Motels ("They check in, but they don't check out!"), Raid, and Black Flag.
    I decorated the place in Early Flea Market and I even had a "shelf unit" made of milk crates held together with pipe cleaners. It wasn't much, but I was proud of it. Mostly beacause I had done it all by myself.

    Pride Day!
    I was so excited--like a kid on Christmas Day. I had never been to a pride event before, so I kind of didn't know what to expect.
    I took the bus downtown and walked about 8 blocks to where the parade was supposed to be.
    I had gotten there early on pourpose. I didn't want to miss anything.
    People were already lined up to watch the parade, cameras and camcorders ready.

    I was in a trance almost.
    All these gay people! My brothers and sisters!
    The parade came by and I was dazzled by the floats, the drag queens, the go-go boys from the Club Atlantis.
    When the Act Up! float came by they were chanting

    "We're here! We're queer! Get used to it!"

    and the crowd started chanting along with them.

    The festival itself was amazing.
    There was a table of crafts ("hand made by genuine lesbians" the sign read) and I remember buying a ceramic ashtray for my coffee table.
    I was amazed at the diversity. People were there of all shapes, sizes, and ages.
    People were greeting each other with "Happy Pride!". There was this vibe in the air that was impossile not to catch.
    On the stage a drag queen was lipsynching the Gloria Gaynor song "I Am What I Am"

    I am what I am
    And what I am needs no excuses
    I deal my own deck
    Sometimes the ace, sometimes the deuces
    There's one life and there's no return and no deposit
    One life, so it's time to open up your closet
    Life's not worth a damn
    'Til you can say, hey world
    I am what I am!
    I felt a surge of happiness - - pride.
    It was unbelievable.
    It was beautiful.
    It was one of the most purest moments of my life. I will never forget it.