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Life is only what you wonder.

Monday, March 31, 2003

Fashion Police

I'm not a fashion plate, OK? I'll freely admit that to anyone.
Clean, comfortable, and casual is how I select my wardrobe.
But just imagine if there were a law that required people to have thier outfits match and be accessorized.
I wouldn't be the first person locked up or fined.
(The heavyset woman who wears skintight spandex who eats at my restaraunt would be Public Enemy Number One), but I'd definitely be on "the list", as a friend pointed out to me just the other day.
I was wearing a plain black Gap t-shirt, loose fit black Tommy Hilfiger jeans, and black Fila boots.
He: Someone needs to teach you how to dress. You don't match.
Me: (looking at my outfit)
Waddaya mean? I do too match! I'm wearing all black!
He: No, you don't match. Yo're not supposed to wear Tommy with Fila.
Me: Why the hell not?
He: (sighs)
Because you're supposed to wear Tommy with Tommy, or Fila with Fila. You can't mix your labels like that.
Me: (in mock alarm)
Oh, the horror, the horror! What will I do? How will I cope?
He: Whatever. Do what you wanna do. I was just trying to help you out.
There will be someone coming along to revoke my Homosexual Membership Card any day now.