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Life is only what you wonder.

Friday, August 29, 2003

. . .

Wonder Boy: The Sitcom
Episode # 189, "Another world" (WB, 9:30 PM, 30 minutes):
Jimmy goes to a straight redneck bar. Everyone learns a valuable lesson.
Presented in HDTV.

After I got home from work last night I started feeling restless.
I didn't feel like going all the way to Mount Vernon to go to one of my regular haunts.
What was I to do?
Then I got a brainstorm. There was a bar right down the street from my apartment.
I knew it was a straight bar, but how bad could it be?
Feeling adventurous, I decided to check it out.

I was a liitle apprehensive as I approached the door, because twangy honky-tonk music was playing, but I went through anyway. . . and entered The Land That Time Forgot.
All the ladies there had two types of hair: big feathered Farrah hair, or Loretta Lynn's hairdo from Coal Miner's Daughter and all of them were wearing jeans two sizes too small.
There wasn't anyone there (except me) without a tattoo.
Almost all the men had mullets.
Yes, the mullet, a hairstyle that should be as dead as the dodo is alive and well in this place.
The men's wardrobes consisted of flannel shirts, Harley Davidson or wrestling t-shirts.
People were playing darts in the corner.
A older woman with a greying mullet (the only "femullet" I saw there) was playing a poker machine, and some guy in another corner was passed out at his table, a beer still clutched in his paw.

It actually wasn't as bad as I had expected, so I decided to stay for a drink.
Barmaid-Farrah #1 came over to where I was sitting at the bar and took my order, and I could definitly handle the place easier with a drink in my hand.

I was worried that I was too "gay" for that place. I kept worrying about how I was sitting or holding my drink. It turns out I needn't have worried. Nobody was paying any bit of attention to me. I was just a guy in a bar having a drink.
Customer-Farrah#2 asked me for a match and I lit her cigarette for her, making me feel like a gentleman.
Barmaid-Farrah was really friendly, and kept calling me "hon".
It was a nice change of pace.

I don't think I'll be hanging out there all the time, though.
That country music was getting to me.