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Life is only what you wonder.

Wednesday, December 31, 2003

Clean, Lean, Lazy and Fine
That's The Way I Make It, Make It Mine

I planned it all out for New Year's Eve.
    Here's what's on the agenda:

  • Drinks and cozy quality time with the husband at home with Dick Clark (he still does the New Year's thing, right?) on the boob tube 'til around 11-ish or so, then . . .
  • jaunt over to The Quest for some merry-making and to watch the ball drop and make some noise, then . . .
  • possibly over to Grand Central to shake my booty.
I can't party too hard, though, cause I have work the next day.
I don't want to have a hangover and then have to wait tables for 9 hours or so. That wouldn't be very pretty.
Then tomorrow night we're having a cocktail party at the house.
Any party on New Year's Day I call a "Hair of the Dog" Party 'cause half the guests will probably be suffering for their overindulgences.
Possibly me, too.
The party was just a last-minute idea I had, and I thought "Why not?" No big thing really, just some friends over for finger food, munchies, and of course, cocktails.

I'm going to be way too busy, and/or hungover to post anything tomorrow, so . . .

Happy New Year!

Monkey See, Monkey Do

I've joined a team blog, The Monkey Manifesto!
So, in addition to this blog, I'll be spreading my own kind of wonder and joy over there.
Check it out sometime, why don't you?
(Don't worry about me neglecting this site, there's plenty of me to spread around!)

Can I get an "Oop, Oop!"?

Tuesday, December 30, 2003

Do Not Pass "GO"

I am so dissapointed. I tried to get New Years Day off, but by the time I thought to request it off the schedule had already been posted for the week.
"That's OK," I thought, trying to be positive, "I'll just find someone to switch shifts with!"
Yeah, right. What the heck was I thinking?
I tried. Believe you me, I tried my darndest, but nobody was willing to switch.
"Are you crazy? I'm going to be way too hung over to work on New Year's Day!" was a typical reaction.
That pretty much nixes any hope of going to New York this year.
*sigh*
So, I'm staying local. I don't have a clue what I'll be doing, or where I'll be spending it quite yet, but I'll try to make it as fabulous as I can.

Something I was thinking about:
You know, New Year's Eve and your birthday are the only times in the year when you can totally overdo it and get completely, totally, no-holds-barred, kill-all-your-brain-cells drunk off your ass and nobody will say things about you like "lush", "drunk", "boozer" or "alcoholic"!
It's like a Get Out of Jail Free card.

Construction Time Again

Images are down on this site due to routine maintenance. I'm working on spiffing up the look of this blog a little bit at a time.
The main page is OK, but if you go strolling thru the archives, don't be alarmed by the lack of images. Don't panic, or fly off the handle or do anything hasty.
This is only temporary, I assure you.

Saturday, December 27, 2003

Unseen Movie reviews

I haven't seen any of these movies, but that isn't going to stop me from reviewing them anyway!
Mona Lisa Smile- A standard-fare period-piece chick-flick. Everyone learns a valuable lesson. Julia Roberts could sleepwalk through movies like this.

Love Don't Cost A Thing- A guy pays a girl to go out with him so he can be popular.
Hello? Wasn't this the plot of Can't Buy Me Love? Of course they're not going to duplicate the movie exactly, so look for a twist at the end, that almost anyone will have seen coming by the beginning of the second half.

Honey- A rags-to-riches-on-her-own-terms story that's basically a rehashed Flashdance with a hip-hop flava and Missy Elliot to give it box-office appeal. He dreams do come true, just not quite the way she imagined it.

Not bad, huh?
If anyone has actually seen any of these movies, let me know if I'm right or not, mmmmmkay?

Friday, December 26, 2003

I Like Da Way You Do Dat Right Thurr

I had a great Xmas. I hope everyone else did too.

I caught World Idol on TV last night. Actually, it was pretty good.

Diana Karazon, who won Pan-Arabic Idol, sang in her native Arabic and I swear, I swear, at one point it sounded like she was singing "sunny moments suck", but it was more like

    Suh-huh-huh-nee-hee-hee Mo-ho-ho-ments Suuuuuuck!
and I was rolling on the floor laughing so hard I nearly wet my pants!

My favorites were Ryan Malcom from Canada who performed one of my favorite songs, and hottie Will Young, representing the UK, who did an excellent version of The Doors' "Light My Fire" and who has one of the nicest sets of choppers I've ever seen.
We'll have to wait a week to see who wins, though.

After that, I went out for a drink or two.
I had to struggle to get my butt up outta bed though. All the Cabernet Sauvignon I had drank earlier had put me in a light stupor, making me lazy and lethargic.

The first stop was Leon's. I went there 'cause it had been awhile since my last visut, but mostly because Bert makes the strongest and best drinks in town.
Everyone in there was really drunk and really, really loud. Why do people raise their voces when they drink? It's like the more people drink, the louder they get. I've always wondered about that. There's got to be a logical explanation for this.
Anyhoo, after downing a few there I went to The Quest for another quick one. Saw David and chatted with him for a few, and got a big hug and a brotherly peck on the cheek. (Dave's so sweet!)

Making plans for New Years Eve. I don't want to spend it in Baltimore, though! As much as I love this stinkin' city, I need to get away for a little while.
I have a potential destination in mind, but I'm not sure I can swing it yet.
We'll have to see what happens.

Wednesday, December 24, 2003

Greetings!

I'm taking X-mas off from blogging, so everone have a great holiday! I'll be back on Friday, probably.
That's a promise, not a threat.
Money is scarce,
Times are hard,
Here's your effin' Christmas card.

Tuesday, December 23, 2003

This Little Light of Mine

I've been feeling a little sick the last couple of days.
Nothing serious, really. The glands on my neck are slightly swollen, my throat has been scratchy, and either I can't breathe out of my nose, or it's running like crazy.
This too will pass, I know. I just hate not feeling 100% up to snuff.
I should count my blessings, It could be alot worse.

The Secret Santa thing at work was the other day. Guess what I got?
A big, pink, candle shaped like a penis!
Just because I'm gay someone thought I would like this. What were they thinking?
Of course, everyone had a hoot when I opened it and I'm standing there holding a box with this big pink penis in it.
How embarrassing.
It's going right in the closet until I can find someone to give it to as a birthday present or for Christmas next year.

I don't have time to craft a witty and clever post today. I gotta cash my check and then I have some last minute Xmas presents to buy.
More later when I have time.

Saturday, December 20, 2003

I Don't Believe It

Justin's a racist?
Nah. I don't buy it.
Not without more proof, anyway.

A Five Minute Story

Strange Purchase

It was early.
The parade that would come up Charles Street and end up there wouldn't be happening for three hours or so.
They had already blocked off the side streets and were setting up the stage when he walked out of the hallway to his building and stood there squinting in the bright sunlight.
He held a cocktail in a plastic cup and sipped it while he watched them set up. He wouldn't have normally been drinking this early in the morning, but he was trying to get rid of the nasty hangover from last night's partying.
He lit a cigarette and stepped off his stoop with no real destination in mind, just to wander around for a while.
He walked down the center of Eager Street and he noticed they had already set up the ten or so Porta-Potties in the parking lot across the street from The Hippo.
Ugh. He hated using those nasty things. Luckily, his apartment wasn't even a block away.
He heard someone calling to him and when he turned around he saw a guy he didn't recognize approaching him.
He looked to be in his forties, thick about the waist, slightly balding on top, wearing a very loud Hawaiian shirt, Bermuda shorts, and a black leather fanny pack. He looked like a science teacher on vacation.
"I love your shirt." the guy said to him.
He looked down, having forgotten what he had thrown on earlier. He was wearing an old Speed Racer t-shirt. It wasn't even technically his, a trick had left it at his apartment about six months ago.
I'll buy it from you for twenty dollars." the man told him.
"Twenty dollars for this t-shirt?" he asked him.
"Yeah! I wanna buy that shirt!" the man insisted, reaching into his fanny pack and taking out a twenty dollar bill.
What the Hell. Why not? Twenty dollars would buy him a pack of smokes and help buy more drinks later.
He took the twenty from the man and shoved it into the back pocket of his faded Levis, flicked his cigarette butt away, put his plastic cup on the curb and peeled the t-shirt over his head and handed it to him.
The man took the shirt and pressed it to his face, sniffing the places where his armpits had been, and with the shirt still pressed there, started walking away, a look of rapture on his face.
He shrugged, picked up his drink, lit another cigarette, and walked back, shirtless, to his apartment.

Friday, December 19, 2003

Throw Down

"Life is like a game of cards. The hand you are dealt is determinism; The way you play it is free will."
--Jawaharlal Nehru

I finally got a game of spades together last night! YAY!
My friend Missy and her boyfriend came over and they, and G. and I, played a rousing game while Missy did her laundry.
We played the "jailhouse version" with the Big Joker, Little Joker, and deuce being greater than the ace.
We just sat around drinking Bacardi while we threw down.
(For those who don't know, the key to plasying spades is bidding accurately. Underbid and you get sandbags, overbid and you get set. Get 10 sandbags, and you go back 100 points. Get set more than four times, you lose.)
They kicked our asses!
You know what? I had fun anyway.

I've been trying to watch what I eat more carefully lately. I took a long look in the mirror and I noticed a slight "kangaroo pouch" starting to accumulate around my tum and I can't have that at all!
Nobody else seems to have noticed it. (It's just a little pouch, after all). But I've still got to nip this in the bud!
I'm not going to be one of those people who "let's themselves go"!
According to this article in Men's Heath, consuming more calories than you burn is what causes you to get fat--it's that simple.
Apparently, it's all about making better food choices.
You could have a jumbo slice of double fudge cake (almost 700 calories). Or you could eat a bowl of oatmeal, a bowl of cornflakes (with banana), an english muffin with jam, two dishes of fresh fruit, and three rice cakes and still not have as many calories as that one slice of cake.
I've been watching what I eat very carefully the last couple of days, and I plan on continue with it and see what happens.
I will not let myself go, I don't care what I have to do. I'll even start smoking crack if I have to!
(Just kidding about the crack, y'all!)

Wednesday, December 17, 2003

Top Ten

My favorite gay-themed movies:

The Boys In The Band (1970) - Homosexuals are portrayed as tragic figures, full of self-loathing and angst. This movie was one of the very first gay-themed films.
Originally, I wasn't going to include this movie, but it does have one redeeming quality: it shows you exactly how far we've come in over 30 years. (Warning: this movie is very depressing. Watch a comedy or an episode of Will and Grace afterward as a pick-me-up.)

Making Love (1982) - Kate Jackson is married to Michael Ontkean (this movie and Twin Peaks are his only claims to fame), unaware that he is living a secret gay life, eventually becoming lovers with the hunky Harry Hamlin.
A good movie that not only shows the quest for Michael's character to find love and fulfillment, but also portrays the meat-market aspect of the gay subculture.

Consenting Adult (1985) - Young shy Jeff discovers his attraction to men. After struggling with himself, he comes out to his parents (Marlo Thomas and Martin Sheen), who try to come to terms that their son is gay.
This was a TV movie of the week.

Torch Song Trilogy (1988) - This film tells the story of Arnold (Harvey Firestein), who is a female impersonator, and his quest to find love and acceptance in a world in which he has never truly belonged.
This is a fantastic movie, great for it's story, excellent casting and fabulous for it's quotes.
The adorable Matthew Broderick plays Arnold's lover, Alan.

Longtime Companion (1990) - A film about a group of gay friends in the early eighties and the start of the AIDS epidemic.
Break out the Kleenex before you watch it, 'cause this one's a tearjerker.

Beautiful Thing (1996) - Jamie and Ste are teenage boys coming to terms with their sexuality, and their growing attraction to one another.
Their friend Leah, a black chick who adores Mama Cass is hilarious.
The ending is upbeat, leading you to believe there's a happy ending in store for the couple.

Get Real (1998) - Steven, a teenager living in England (played by Ben Silverstone), falls in love with John, the school jock. Fortunately, John falls in love with him, too. John, however, has a straight reputation to uphold.
This becomes a problem when Steve wants to Get Real about himself and his lover.

Edge of Seventeen (1998) - I could totally relate to almost everything in this movie.
This movie encapsulates the experiences of many young gay men: First love/lust, first club experience (complete with anonymous sexual encounter), loss of a friend who can't deal with homosexuality, parents finding out, etc.

Trick (1999) - What should have been just a casual sexual encounter between two men gets complicated as they bounce all over downtown Manhattan as fate, friends, and misunderstandings conspire to keep them from consummating their passion.
This one's a favorite, not just for it's very attractive cast and superb acting, but because it ends on a positive note.

The Broken Hearts Club (2000) - A fresh, funny, real story about a group of gay men in Hollywood and their lovers and friends. It's a movie about something everyone can relate to: how screwy and disfunctional friends can be, but also how wonderful. Dean Cain (who played sexy Superman/Clark Kent in the series Lois and Clark) is in this one.

Tuesday, December 16, 2003

Do It Yourself

This is good for a laugh, anyway.
"Too embarrassed (or too cheap) to buy sex toys?
This site shows you how, step-by-step, to build them yourself!"
It's amazing the lengths people will go to to get off.

Sunday, December 14, 2003

Now Just Wait A Minizzle

It's chilly in the house as I type this. Not cold enough where I can see my breath, but it feels like it.
I've tried to seal all the places where drafts could come in, buy I must have forgotten something, because I'm sitting here in a sweatsuit and I'm still cold.
It makes me want to move back into the old loft apartment where the heat worked so well and it would get so hot in there you could walk around naked without caring.
G. absolutely loves it when I walk around nude, but I won't be doing that again until summer arrives again.

I'm in a good mood today.
It's chilly in here, but I can deal.
I gotta go to work later and it's either going to be crazy busy, or super slow. Whatever, I'll be able to handle it.
I'm even OK with the fact that I set the VCR to tape my all-time favorite Christmas movie, Frank Capra's It's a Wonderful Life! last night, but for some reason it didn't record. I'd rather rent the DVD from Blockbuster anyway--no commercials.

I stopped by the alcoholic store last night to get some cocktail fixins and this guy was standing in front of me in line and he turns around and looks at me and says, "You look like Brad Pitt!"
Now, I look nothing like Brad Pitt. Ask anyone who knows me and they'll tell you the same. There is nothing about me that is in any way Brad Pitt-ish.
So I said, "I don't look anything like Brad Pitt."
and he says, "Yes you do! You look just like him!"
and then I said, "Well, I don't think so, but thanks anyway."
For some reason I still can't fathom, that sentence totally set him off.
"Whadya mean 'thank you'?!" he said, raising his voice with every word. "I ain't no faggot! I don't do that faggot shit! Why'd you say 'thank you' for?!!"
At this point he's shouting and everyone in the store is looking over at us, and the cashier's eyes are rolling back in her head.
I said, "Well, most people think Brad Pitt is sexy, so I took it as a compliment, that's all. I wasn't implying anything."
By this time the cashier had rung up his 40 oz. and put it in brown paper bag and he was headed for the door. I put my bottle of wine on the counter and the cashier says to me, "There's no shortage of crazy people in this world."
"Tell me about it." I said.

No matter what happens, I refuse to let this crazy topsy-turvy world steal my boyish laughter from me!

Saturday, December 13, 2003

The Boys Can't Help it

A new study proves homosexuality is genetic. Not a matter of choice, but determined by inborn chemical factors.
"Sexual identity is rooted in every person's biology before birth and springs from a variation in our individual genomes."
Read all about it here, here, and here.

Friday, December 12, 2003

Three Degrees Or Less

Not yesterday, but the two days before it, were essentially foodless days for me. Aside from my big bowl of nuts the other day, I'd barely eaten anything for two days.
I wasn't depressed or feeling sick or anything, I just wasn't hungry.
Then at work yesterday, being around all that food, smelling it, watching people eating it, I was sudendly hungry like the wolf.
I gorged.
Whenever I wasn't out on the floor serving my tables I was in the server station shoving something in the hole in my face.
I'm such a pig sometimes--but at least I'm aware of it.

They say there's six degrees of separation between you and everyone else in the world, but I don't believe it.
In Baltimore, I think it's three degrees or less.
in the past 2 days I've unexpectedly run into. . . 1 ex-boyfriend, 1 former trick, my arch-nemesis (I'll tell the story eventually), someone who lived next door to me almost 10 years ago, and my old Biology teacher who I waited on in the restaurant yesterday.
I think the Christmas season brings out people who don't get out of the house any other time of the year.
Thas what it is, I betcha.

Thursday, December 11, 2003

Black and White People

There are two girls at work named Crystal. One is white and the other is black.
What do you think people call them?

If you said Black Crystal and White Crystal, give yourself a gold star.

And that's what really gets me--that's the way people say it.
White Crystal.
As if "White" was a part of her name!

Black Mike. White Linda.

I realize it's no worse (or better) than saying Blond Brian, or Green-eyed Karen, or Skinny Jimmy or Old Susan.
You're simply offering a "distinguishable identifier" so people will know who in the heck you're talking about.

I have to admit, I do it too.
I really hate identifying people by what color they are, though.
I was telling my very good friend White Donna the very same thing just the other day.

Wednesday, December 10, 2003

To Take You To A New Landscape Is My Mandate

It's the kind of day where you don't have anything you need to do.
No laundry. No grocery shopping. No cleaning the house because you did all of that yesterday, remember?
There's nothing you particularly want to do either.
Maybe you'll read a book later.
Maybe after that, when you're bored of staying in, you'll go out.
Or maybe not.
It's the kind of day where you don't shave, and just let the stubble grow a little more.
It's the kind of day where you sit and listen to the dripping of the snow melting on the roof and let your mind drift.
It's the kind of day where you sit around in your loungewear, watching TV, with a humongus bowl of pistachios on your lap, and just munch, munch, munch away. Which, incidently, is what I just got finished doing.
While I was sitting there, eating my bowl o' nuts, I thought about how weird it would be if aliens were watching me and making a documentary.

"Observe the human as he uses his articulate appendages (called 'fingers') to peel open the nut and then pop pop it in his mouth. Notice he does this without ever taking his eyes of the rectagular sreen of moving images. The people of Earth call those screens 'television' and it's one of thier favorite activities."

Yes, it's a day for weird thoughts. I have those every once in awhile.
You probably do too.

Q & A

I just found this. Feel free to copy the questions (along with your answers, of course) and post them on your own blog or journal.
Time now: 1:59pm (EST)
Middle name? Dee (like Billy Dee Williams)
Place of birth? Baltimore, MD
How long did you live there? Still here. (I did move to Wahington DC for 2 years, but I've been back for 10.)
Favorite class in school? Art
What flavor of ice cream? Cookies 'N' Creme
Favorite road trip? Fort Lauderdale, FL
Croutons or bacon bits? Both.
Age you lost your virginity? 15 years old
Age when you first fell in love? 18 years old
Friend most likely to commit a crime with you? Most likely? I guess G.
City in the world you wished you lived in? NYC.
Favorite place you ever traveled to? Montreal, Canada
When was the last time you were disappointed? Last week at work when I was in a bad section and we were slow. I was expecting to make more money.
Beach or sightseeing? Sightseeing. I love the beach, but I burn easily.
What's your greatest fear? Castration
What's the best gift you ever received? My bracelets. I have two, one for each wrist. I wear them almost every day.
How would you like to die? Whatever, as long as it's painless.
When's your birthday? 10/22
What do you dislike most about your appearance? That I'm so skinny and scrawny. I always wanted big muscles.
What was the last thing you won? A free 20oz. Mountain Dew from a bottle cap. Whee!
Heat it up or eat it cold? Eat it cold
Do you speak any other languages besides English? Nope.
When was the last time you hurt someone? Last week.
What did you do? I got into an arguement with G. and in the heat of the moment I said some things I shouldn't have. Typical "spousal stuff", I guess.
Name one person you would love to meet in person (not a famous person)? Joey.
Time now: 2:09pm (EST)

Tuesday, December 09, 2003

Re-Hash

After my rough weekend I feel like a dishrag that's been wrung out too much.
I can't just sit on my ass, though. We've got company coming over this afternoon, so I have to tidy up the apartment some.
Is it cheating to throw everything in the closets or down the basement stairs? I don't feel much like doing anything today.
I went out to The Quest last night after my long day of working. I made excellent money, so I was happy about that.
Glug, glug, glug.
After 3 bourbon and Cokes I was feeling right as rain.
Alchohol--the great equalizer.
A couple at the bar last night was having a "lover's quarrel"-- in the middle of the bar at the loudest sound level imaginable, so I wasn't keen on staying too much longer than I did. I talked to Terry for a little bit, and then I left. There were too many dramatics going on.
I make it a point never to get involved in public theatrics like that myself. It's way too embarassing.

The holiday party at work is December 19th and I still haven't bought my Secret Santa gift yet! Why do I always wait 'til the last minute? I still don't have a clue what to get this guy!
Someone suggested "get him something you'd like for yourself".
Uh-huh.
I'm sure Big Mike (who's straight, by the way) would just love a Hunk-A-Day wall calendar!
I'll be sure to let you know what I come up with.

Come Back! Come Back!

I will not delete you from my blogroll, because I'm hoping you'll change your mind, dammit!

Monday, December 08, 2003

Troll The Ancient Yuletide Carol

Just like I have a love/hate thing going on with Christmas, so do I also have a love/hate thing with Christmas carols. It’s hard not to, considering I’m bombarded with them all day, every day at work. Here’s some Christmas songs, and my feelings and comments on them.
Deck the Halls- I actually like this one. Festive, fun, with lots of energy.
I especially like the lyric about “donning our gay apparel”.
I don my gay apparel every single day!

Jingle Bells- OK, audience participation time: Raise your hand if you’ve ever ridden in a one-horse open sleigh.
Go ahead. Don’t be shy.
Hmmm. I don’t see many paws in the air, so I think it’s fair to say that this is not something most people have ever experienced. Yet everyone sings about how much fun it is to ride in one!
How strange is that?

Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer- I really hate this one.
You want to know why, just think about the lyrics.
Rudolph is shunned by his peers, and ostracized because he happens to be different. He’s not like the other reindeer, so he’s humiliated over and over again.
He probably cried himself to sleep over all the abuse he suffered. This probably caused deep emotional scars that could take years of therapy to heal.
(I know, I’m extrapolating, but it’s OK, I can do that if I want!)
Then, years later, when it’s discovered that his difference was actually an asset, Santa (who really should have stopped the abuse from the other reindeer before it even began) has the gall to come and ask Rudolph for help!
Rudy should have said “Screw you, fatso!”
But, no, out of the goodness of his heart (and I guess he was feeling sorry for the good little boys and girls in the world) he helps Santa deliver the presents.
Then the reindeer love him--after he saves the day! Some fair weather friends those other reindeer were! And Santa Claus wasn’t much better!
Just think: What if there were clear skies on Christmas Eve for years? Poor Rudolph would have probably died alone in a cave somewhere!

Up on the Housetop- Another happy song. I love the “Ho, ho, ho! Who wouldn’t go?” lyric.

Winter Wonderland, Sleigh Ride, Frosty the Snowman, and Let It Snow- These aren’t Christmas songs, OK? There’s no mention of Jesus or Santa Claus or Christmas or presents in any of them. Anybody--Jewish people, Muslims, Hindus, what have you-- can enjoy these songs too! They’re winter songs and can be played all through the winter season, but you ever notice you only hear them around Christmas?


Saturday, December 06, 2003

To and Fro, High and Low, Snow, Snow, Snow

It snowed some last night and a little this morning. Actually, there's still a little coming down, but not much to speak of.
It's the first snow of the year (for us) and definitely not the last.
You'd think Baltimorians (Baltimorons?) had never seen snow before!
I don't know why it still amazes me how so many people totally freak out because of a little snow.
They exaggerate things, too, which annoys me to no end.
This is how it happens: one person hears that we're getting 4-6 inches, but in their head they think we'll probably be getting more, so they tell someone "Oh, yeah, I heard we could get up to 8 inches!" then that person tells someone else that he heard were were going to get 10. And it just gets worse from there.
So I'm at work last night and I'm looking out the window and it's barely doing anything out there, and I hear people saying it's going to be a blizzard etc., etc.
When people tell me horror stories about the weather my first thought is: "I'll believe it when I see it."
Everyone was predicting that the restaurant would be closed today, but traffic seems to be going OK, so I won't be getting out of it that easily.

I'm working tonight and then a double tomorrow, and another double on Monday. It's not going to leave much time for blogging, so I'll be posting nest on Tuesday, unless I can fit some time in somewhere.
'Til then, take care, everybody!

Re: this article.
You know, this doesn't really surprise me a bit. I've noticed that every time I go to A&F, the salespeople are exceptionally good-looking.
I knew there had to be a reason for that!

Friday, December 05, 2003

Even More New Vocabulary Words

abandominium (uh-BAN-duh-MIN-e-um) n. (a combination of abandon + condominium) An abandoned rowhouse (usually boarded up) that homeless people break into and live in.

santorum (san-TOR-um) n. (from the surname of homophobic Senator Rick Santorum) The frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the by-product of anal sex.
(This word was created by Dan Savage in his sex advice column Savage Love.)

Please take a moment to answer the following. Thank you!

Thursday, December 04, 2003

The Survey Says:

About a week ago, I, along with many other bloggers, was asked to take a Blogging Survey.
Well, the results are in, and here they are!
Asterisks (*) indicate which answer I chose.

1. How often do you blog or update your blog?

Once a Day 28.9%
More than once in a day 23.9%
*2-4 Times a Week or more 33.6%
Once a Week 8%
Less than Weekly 5.6%

Summary: Bloggers are quite active online, 52.8% of all bloggers surveyed update their blogs atleast once a day.

86.4% of bloggers surveyed blog or update their blogs more than once a week.

2. Where do you blog?

At work 4.8%
*At home or at leisure 47%
At both home and work 48.2%

Summary: While most bloggers do not blog only at work (only 4.8% do), 53% of those bloggers surveyed do blog in the workplace (at work, or at both home and work).

3. How many blogs do you own?

*One blog 56.2%
Two blogs 22.8%
Three blogs 11.3%
Four blogs 5.1%
Five or more 4.6%

Summary: While most bloggers only own one blog, a large amount, 43.8%, own more than one blog.

21% of all bloggers surveyed own three blogs or more.

4. Do you run paid advertising in your blog?

Yes 13.4%
*No 86.6%

Summary: Only 13.4% of the bloggers surveyed run advertising in their blogs. Recently a large amount of advertising networks including BlogAds, Google’s AdSense (no personal blogs), and Skoobie have been open to running ads on smaller web sites and blogs.

5. If you do not run advertising in your blog, why not?

I want to, but I do not know how 15.7%
My free blog host does not allow it 10.1%
*Do not want to 43.5%
Blogs and advertising do not mix 15%
Other reason 15.7%

58.5% of bloggers who do not run advertising on their blog claim that the reason is because they do not want advertising or feel that advertising does not belong on blogs.

50.6% of all bloggers surveyed are not open to running advertising on their blogs.

10.1% may be barred from running advertising by their blog host, although they can still run affiliate links in their blog content if they choose.

Other reasons for not running advertising include:
“Not sure it will add to the quality of my blog”
“My readership isn’t big enough for advertising to really do me any good, and it would just annoy what readers I do have”
“Not something I’ve ever considered”

6. Have you ever been approached by a company or organization asking you to blog about them or their product?

Yes 9.3%
*No 90.7%

Summary: An overwhelming amount of bloggers, 90.7%, have never been contacted by a company or organization with product or service information, asking the blogger to blog about them. This may be because the public relations industry has yet to direct a large amount of its efforts towards bloggers.

7. Would you blog about a company’s product or an organization if they emailed or asked you?

Yes I would 5.2%
Yes, if the product or organization was relevant to my blog content 26.9%
*I would review their organization or product and blog my thoughts on them, good or bad 41.8%
No, I do not blog about companies that email or contact me 26.1%

Summary: Although the majority of bloggers have yet to be contacted by a company or organization with blogging info related to a product or service, 73.9% off all bloggers are open to receiving and blogging about such information.

This is in vast contrast to advertising where only 29.4% of all bloggers surveyed are open to running ads (run advertisements or would like to).

However, 41.8% of bloggers may be open to PR contacts, but are willing to post a negative review in their blog if they do not like the product.

The PR industry has to be extra careful with bloggers by first reading their material, likes and dislikes, and then, pitching product or service information customized to the blogger.

Bloggers are more open to public relations efforts than the are for running advertising.

8. What kind of blog do you own (or manage)?

Movable Type Hosted on own domain 15.4%
WordPress hosted on own domain 4.1%
PMachine hosted on own domain 2.5%
Blogger hosted on own domain 12.8%
*Blogger Blogspot hosted blog 39.5%
Blog-City hosted blog 4.4%
TBlog hosted blog 3.9%
Typepad/Blogs.com 4.9%
Other 29.3%

Summary: The majority of bloggers surveyed, 52.3%, use Google’s Blogger as their blogging platform of choice. In addition, over 52.7% of all bloggers surveyed use a blog hosting service such as blogspot, blog-city, tblog, or TypePad to host their blogs.

Other blog platforms answered by respondents include RadioLand, Salon, MoBlog, Xanga, and LiveJournal.

9. Where do you find the info or news that you blog about (please check all that apply)?

Sites that I check regularly 68.5%
*Other blogs 58.9%
*Friends 54.3%
News Sites and Online News Papers 47.7%
Google News 33.8%
Online Forums 25.6%
Email News Alerts 22.8%
Weird News Sites 20.8%
Yahoo News 19%
RSS News Aggregators 17.5%
Moreover News 5.1%
MSN Newsbot 0.7%
*Other 20.8%

Other included newspaper, TV, magazine, life experiences, and cosmic rays from outerspace.

10. Why do you blog?
*For fun 73.6%
To write 66.6%
*To reach out to the world 55.9%
*To cope 23.4%
For work 12.6%
For money 7%
Other 20.8%

Wednesday, December 03, 2003

It's Comin' On

Here's what's going on:
  • I've been sleeping too darn much and having really strange dreams that I can't remember when I wake up.
    I really hate that. I've I've got to dream, why can't I remember it?

  • G.'s coming down with a cold or a bug or a virus or something. This means I have to be extra sweet to him and try to make him better.

  • Trying to winterize the house, so it's not so drafty. I'm going to be putting plastic over the windows and fixing the front or back doors so cold air soesn't get in.

  • I'm tired of going out. I'm tired of staying in.
    I don't know what I want!

  • They've only been playing Christmas carols at work for five days and I'm already sick of them.

  • Looking forward to seeing It's a Wonderful Life again this year. It's my favorite holiday movie.

  • I will not, can not in a house, with a mouse, in a box, with a fox: I will not go to see The Cat in the Hat.
    Nope. No way! You can't make me!
    Can you guess why?
    They're advertising it too damn much! I walked into Rite-Aid and there's TCITH crap everywhere.
    I said this a few years ago about the Ron Howard's The Grinch and I'm proud to say I still haven't seen that movie.

  • Me and the husband (the husband and I?) discussed how we were going to "do" Christmas this year. We decided we were going to do what we did last year and buy one really nice thing we both want as our Christmas presents to each other. We did that last year with the Playstation 2.
    Of course, I'll still buy him something anyway.

On A Mission

The other day we had about 30 or so young and fresh looking Mormon boys come and eat in the restaraunt.
Guess whose section they sat in?

I just love Mormon boys. Ther're so polite and respectful. They're so cute. So sweet. So innocent.
Their innocence just makes you just want to corrupt them, doesn't it?
They're sexy because they're so innocent and devout
Corrupting a Mormon boy would be like walking across a field covered with freshly fallen snow.
One of them, a cute guy with these big blue eyeswho couldn't have been any older than 17, (his name tag said "The Elder Mr. Packham" or something like that) wanted to come to my home and talk to me about the Latter Day Saints, but I told him no thanks.
These boys must be pretty fearless, asking to come over people houses! There's no shortage of wackos in this world.

Speaking of Mormons and wackos, anyone else ever see the movie Orgazmo?

Tuesday, December 02, 2003

Hot Or Not?

What makes a blog good?
The answer depends entirely on who you ask. It seems like everyone has a different opinion about this topic.
Here's mine:
Hey, Good Lookin'!-
Does the blog look good? Is it visually appealing?
Is the background color, font size and color, photos/graphics easy on the eyes?
If you have a bright red background with kelly green lettering in a tiny font, dead links, graphics that aren't displaying and blink tags and animated graphics all over the place, I'm not going to stick around and read it, no matter how good it might be.

Y Tori DoNt BlOg-
Punctuation and grammar are important, but not all important. I'm not going to not read something just because of a few misspelled words.
(I sometimes slip and misspell something myself, and I have Spell Check, so it should be a no-brainer!)
The important thing is that I be able to read it.
If it's a big ol' "word salad" and I can't make heads or tails of what you're trying to say, I'm going to go elsewhere. So will everyone else, probably.

Ask Me If I Care-
This is the most important thing. In order for me to keep coming back, the blog must touch me in some way.
Is the blog interesting? Does it make me think? Does it make me laugh? Does it make me sad? Does it make me want to know more? Does it convey a point of view?
Does this person have something to say, or are they just wasting their time and mine?


No, Really! Who's That Guy?



I found this photo on mostbeautifulman.com's "Pic of the Day" page, but I have no idea who he is. I did a search for "Chris Apollo" but turned up nothing.
Oh, well.
He's cute though, isn't he?
I love his tatts.

Monday, December 01, 2003

Today, December 1, is World AIDS Day 2003.