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Life is only what you wonder.

Thursday, March 11, 2004

The Usual Suspects

I managed to get to Happy Hour at The Quest yesterday. All the Usual Suspects were there.
There was Tom The Codger, the owner, who was working behind the bar. When he's tending you have to order "simple drinks"--Malibu Baybreezes and Apple Martinis are too complicated for him.
Hell, he's even challenged by making a Rum and Coke.
He's heavy-handed with the liquor though, so we can forgive him.

The Candy Man was there. The Candy Man is always there in his favorite corner spot by the Poker machine with his bright pink face and greasy looking mullet clutching a Miller Lite in his paw.
I disliked this guy at first sight. This was even before I knew he was a drug dealer.
I don't even look in his direction if I can help it.

Eddie The Shark came in and asked if I wanted to shoot pool.
Eddie's cool.
I think of him as "Eddie The Shark" not because he's a pool hustler or anything, he's just really smooth when it comes to playing billiards.
Anyway, I don't play that often, but yesterday I felt like it, so he racked 'em up.

I really enjoy playing pool.
Lining up a shot with a cigarette dangling from the corner of my mouth, the bar so dark and smoky you can barely see what you're doing, a cold drink waiting for me on the rail by the table, and 70s disco playing in the background.
It's like a Paul Newman movie or something.

I've got the key, I've got the secret . . . to playing pool. I figured it out yesterday.
If I haven't had any alcohol at all and I try to play, I suck more than a Hoover.
Too much alcohol and my balls are all over the place, anywhere but in the pockets.
But get the optimum amount of alcohol in me and I play pretty well. I wouldn't go so far as to say I'm a "Pool Wizard", but I can hold my own.
The optimum amount is around two drinks or so.

So we're playing and by a strange twist of fate and totally by chance, I win!
So I went to Eddie, shook his hand, said "Good game!" (good sportsmanship is very important), and he was like "You gotta play me again!" He wasn't going to let me go without beating me.
So we play again, and he wins (although I had him on the ropes for a little while until I scratched on the eight ball).
Handshake, "Good game!" and he's like "Two outta three?"
It was then that I realized that he wasn't going to let me go without thoroughly kicking my ass. His ego wouldn't allow it.
So we play again and without a doubt, he kicks my ass.
That's OK though, I was playing for the fun of it.

After that I went home and watched Spider-Man on DVD.

DVD's are insidious.
If it were just the movie that would be OK, but by the time you watch The Making Of The Movie, the trailers, the outtakes, the actor biographies and all the other myriad Special Features that are included, before you know it you've spent almost five hours in front of the TV.
There is such a thing as too much.