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Life is only what you wonder.

Saturday, April 24, 2004

Three Questions - Part 1

Re: this post.
My Three Questions from Ms. Thing:
    1. "What did you do with that dildo your coworkers gave you as a gift?"
    Actually, it was a candle shaped like a penis, and it's currently in the bottom of a very cluttered junk drawer. I'm just waiting for an opportunity to give it to someone else as a gag gift or something. Do you have a birthday coming up?

    2. "When you go to bars or to play pool, does G. Typically accompany you?"
    Sometimes we go together. Sometimes I go alone. Sometimes I meet friends out for drinks and G. does something else entirely. Our schedules don't complement each other that much and sometimes it's difficult to have the same days off. Of course, I try to spend as much time with him as I can.

    3. "What other job positions have you held outside of your current one as a server?"
    Let's see, I was a Lane Waxer at a bowling alley (Fair Lanes). In high school I worked in almost every fast food place you can think of (McDonald's, Burger King, KFC, Roy Rogers, Taco Bell). Aside from being a server in restaurants I've also been a short order cook, line cook, dishwasher, bus boy, prep person, host, and practically anything else there is to do at a restaurant. I've been a cashier in (among other places) a supermarket, a video rental place, and a gift store. I've sold erotic materials (and tokens for the peep shows) at an adult emporium. I was an exotic dancer at the Club Atlantis and also at the Chesapeake House (in DC -- now closed). I've sold advertising over the phone for a newspaper. I've worked at a convenience store (Royal Farms). I was an assistant to the President (and CEO) of the National Peace Foundation in DC. That was by far my most favorite job ever.
    I've done many, many things. I'm not afraid of hard work.

My Three Questions from Benjamin:
    1. "What was your favorite dance song of the 90s?"
    "Ooh... ahh.... Just a Little Bit" by Gina G. The beat is infectious, and the lyrics are really positive. It's very difficult to be depressed when you hear this song.

    2. What do your favorite pair of shoes look like?
    My favorite shoes are my red and white Nike high tops. I've actually bought outfits specifically because they match these shoes and not the other way around.

    3. "If there were three things that you could ask George W. Bush, what would they be?"
    "What exactly is your problem with gay marriage?"
    "In your State of the Union speech, you stated that the presence of '25,000 liters of anthrax ... 38,000 liters of botulinum toxin ... materials to produce as much as 500 tons of sarin, mustard and VX nerve agent ... upwards of 30,000 munitions capable of delivering chemical agents' posed an imminent threat to this nation. Where are the WMD?"
    "Why are you such a weenie?"

My Three Questions from Tasberry:
    1. "Have you ever had sex with a black man?"
    Yes, many many times. Black men can be incredibly sexy.
    There isn't any particular race I prefer, it depends entirely on the individual guy. Race is not an issue with me.
    Since were keeping score, I've also bedded several latinos, but unfortunately, I've never had an Asian man -- dang it! It'll happen eventually, I'm sure.

    2. "Have you ever had sex with a woman?"
    Once. It was a disaster. This girl Sonja I knew was determined to "straighten me out". She invited me over and we had several drinks and we were just having conversation and I thought "Hey, this is nice" when suddenly, out of the blue she was all over me. I protested, and she was like "How do you know if you don't like it if you've never tried it?"
    So I did it.
    It was weird. I wasn't used to breasts, so they were just strange to me. What were you supposed to do with them?
    Cunnilingus wasn't exactly a walk in the park either. I had to keep referencing back to High School Biology. "This is the labia, so that thing up there must be the clitoris!" I would think in amazement. I'm am so glad I got an A in that class!
    Ultimately, I got through it and she seemed satisfied with my "performance", but it just wasn't my cup of tea.
    I kept fantasizing she was Brad Pitt. That's the only thing that got me through it.

    3. "What is your favorite kind of music?"
    My music collection is very diverse, but I tend to listen to music from the 1980's most. Depeche Mode, Pat Benatar, Blondie, Cyndi Lauper, Simple Minds, the Pretty in Pink soundtrack, Bryan Adams. I love the 80's.

"Three Questions - Part 2" will be coming soon.

Note to Benjamin and Tas: Don't forget to copy and paste the "Three Questions" text (from my post from yesterday)to your own weblog so others (including me) can ask you questions, mmmmkay?