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Life is only what you wonder.

Wednesday, May 05, 2004

Listen To Your Mama

You have to admit, your mother gave you pretty good advice.
She taught you to look both ways when you're crossing the street.
She told you to wash your hands, not take candy from strangers, and other useful things.

Since Mother's Day is right around the corner, here are some . . .

Things My Mother Taught Me

My Mother taught me LOGIC. . .
"If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can't go to the store with me."

My Mother taught me MEDICINE. . .
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to freeze that way."

My Mother taught me TO THINK AHEAD. . .
"If you don't do well in school, you'll never get a good job!"

My Mother taught me BIOLOGY. . .
"If you keep cracking your knuckles like that your fingers will fall off!"

My Mother taught me ESP. . .
"Put your sweater on -- don't you think that I know when you're cold?"

My Mother taught me TO MEET A CHALLENGE. . .
"What were you thinking?
Answer me when I talk to you! Don't talk back to me!"

My Mother taught me HUMOR. . .
"When you fall and break your leg, don't come running to me."

My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT. . .
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you will never grow up."

My mother taught me ABOUT SEX. . .
"How do you think you got here?"

My mother taught me about GENETICS. . .
"You are just like your father!"

My mother taught me about my ROOTS. . .
"Do you think you were born in a barn?"

My Mother taught me HYGIENE. . .
"You always need to be wearing clean underwear. Always. If you're in an accident and you're not in clean underwear, I will die of shame."

My mother taught me about the WISDOM of AGE. . .
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. . .
"Just wait until your father gets home."

My mother taught me about RECEIVING. . .
"You are going to get it when we get home."

And my all time favorite thing- JUSTICE. . .
"One day you will have kids, and I hope they turn out just like YOU -- then you'll see what it's like!"