<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/plusone.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID\x3d3440559\x26blogName\x3dWonder+Boy\x26publishMode\x3dPUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT\x26navbarType\x3dBLACK\x26layoutType\x3dCLASSIC\x26searchRoot\x3dhttp://wonderboyblog.blogspot.com/search\x26blogLocale\x3den_US\x26v\x3d2\x26homepageUrl\x3dhttp://wonderboyblog.blogspot.com/\x26vt\x3d-9208151565435014371', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>

Life is only what you wonder.

Sunday, June 13, 2004

Don't Want No Horny-Toed

First of all, I hate my own feet.
I'm on my feet all the time and I get these ugly yellow calluses on my big toes and on my heels.
It's just hideous.
Every week (or so) I have to grate them down with a pumice stone.
I spend so much time grooming my feet and they're still ugly.
You know those porn stars (Joey Stefano comes to mind) who always wear socks but nothing else? That's me. I could be butt-ass nekkid and I'll still be wearing my socks. The only time you'll ever see my feet is poolside or at the beach and then those suckers get covered up as soon as I'm dry.

Actually, I hate feet. I think feet are the worst part of the human body. They are so gross.
I just hate feet, OK? I don't know how anyone could be attracted to this disgusting part of the body.

Case in point:
At work, when cute guys come in the other servers are quick to point them out to me because they know there's nothing better I like than some nice eye candy.
Yesterday Nancy comes over and says, "Check this guy out! Whaddaya think? Hot, huh?"

So I look at him.
Young, trim, good hair, nice body, cute face, nice ass.
Then I saw his feet.
He was wearing sandals and he had toejam between his toes and his feet were filthy, his toenails needed cutting and they were all yellowish, and I was like, "Eww! Gross!"
Nancy was taken aback at my reaction.
"What?" she said, astonished, "You don't think he's cute?"
"Yuck! Did you get a look at his feet?"

Had he been wearing shoes instead of sandals I would have thought he was totally hot.

Which leads me to . . .

    Wonder Boy's Rules For Foot Display

  • If you're going to go barefoot or wear sandals or flip-flops -- take care of your feet!! Make sure they're clean -- no toejam.
    And trim your toenails, dammit! The horny-toed look is just gross, OK?

  • If you're too lazy to do it yourself, get a pedicure. They don't cost that much, really.

  • If foot-maintenance is too much of a bother then cover those suckers up!
    Socks with sandals is tacky (as I've said previously) but it's better than all those ugly feet being displayed to everyone.
OK, so I have this anti-foot thing. I'm not afraid to admit it.