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Life is only what you wonder.

Thursday, July 29, 2004

Which Did You Choose, The Hard Or Soft Option?

Just to end the suspense -- it's over.
I am officially "single" at this point.
After five days of the Big Silence I had had enough so I called the husband's cell and said "We need to talk, and we need to talk now."
So we talked.
He's not happy with the way things are, and I know for sure that I'm not happy either.
And we've both tried really hard to keep "fixing things" and we're both tired.
We're not just tired, we're fuckin' exhausted.
Maintaining a relationship takes work and effort, but this much? It's insane.

I promised myself I wouldn't trash the husband on here, because he doesn't deserve that.
We tried, OK? We both tried real hard. But when most of your time is spent apart and the time you do spend together is strained and full of arguments--something needs to be done.

And don't think that I'm totally OK, and don't think this is easy for me.
I know for a fact that I'm going to be an emotional wreck before this is all over.
But I'm strong enough to deal with it.
The first step is finding a new place to live. Living in this house is not a good idea right now.
I've got my "feelers" out, so I've no doubt that it won't be long.

Damn, I never thought I'd be writing these words. It's sad that it's ended, but is it wrong that I'm excited as well?