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Life is only what you wonder.

Thursday, September 30, 2004

Five Years Ago, Tomorrow

I'm off to buy G. an anniversary present.
Five years ago tomorrow (October 1st) is when we had our Commitment Ceremony.
We celebrated five years together (as a couple) on April 1st.
This is five years married -- a whole 'nother ball game.

It's hard to believe it's been five years already. Where did the time go?

Anyway, no time to dawdle-- I gotta get crackin'!
(I have no idea what I'm getting him yet. I guess I'll know when I find it.)

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Life's Not Like This

I love Queer As Folk, I really do.
Every Monday at 10PM I'm guaranteed to be in front of the Boob Tube tuning in -- or I've set the VCR to tape it.
I can totally relate to almost everything that happens to the characters on that show:
Justin's coming out experiences and introduction to the "gay lifestyle".
Brian's total abandon to his libido, tricking around all the time with no remorse or apologies.
Michael's seemingly never-ending quest for love and understanding.
Emmett's jaded attitude from being unlucky in love so many times.
Ted's nursing someone who was crunked out on Tina.

I've been there and I've done all of that.

But as entertaining as QAF is, it's not real life, as I was explaining to Nancy at work just the other day.
It's a TV show, and nobdy should expect what they see on TV to be reality, unless you happen to be watching C-Span or CNN.

If you watch QAF thinking you're seeing how gay life really is, you'd think the world is populated by very good looking upwardly mobile white twenty-somethings with designer clothes, cool apartments, and rewarding upscale jobs who spend most of their time at the gym, doing Tina, at the disco, or having (admittedly) hot sex with other upwardly mobile white twentysomethings.

Real life isn't like that.

Real life is taking the trash out, doing laundry, arguing with your husband about what color to paint the bedroom, paying bills, brushing your teeth.
Real life is working all day and not feeling like going out to the club because you have another full day ahead of work tomorrow.
Real life is what happens between all the fabulous and tragic stuff that happens in our lives.
It doesn't make for entertaining TV because it's what we do every day.

Sunday, September 26, 2004

She's The Queen

When I think of her, I remember her in an old bathrobe with a towel on her head, lip-synching Erykah Badu's "Tyrone" and me laughing so hard I nearly fell off my barstool.
Or wearing a grey wig and granny dress and doing an impression of Aunt Esther from Sanford and Son that had us all rolling on the floor and nearly wetting our pants.

She's can be as glamorous as the next gal when she wants to, but she has the ability to laugh at herself and make you laugh right along with her. A quality that's very rare in female impersonators.
Drag just isn't about being fabulous, it's about being entertaining, and she knows how to turn it out.

So congratulations ("Put your hannnnds togetherrrr!") to Shawnna Alexander (The reigning Queen of Comedy and Miss Gay Baltimore, 2004) for being voted Best Drag Queen by the BCP in their Best of Baltimore issue!

You go, Miss Thing!

Saturday, September 25, 2004

Wild-Eyed Alpha Males And Other Things

  • I am lovin' Rico more and more every day, but I'm really getting tired of him pooping all over the house having to clean up his "accidents".

  • The new Mountain Dew flavor Pitch Black is bangin'!
    Grape soda + caffeine is a good thing. Someone should have come up with this sooner.

  • A group of twenty High-School football players was seated in the section next to mine last night. They were rowdy, loud and full of testosterone, but they made for some great eye candy.
    It's fun to look, even if you don't plan on doing anything.

  • Speaking of work, I won an award for getting a 100% on a "secret shopper" survey.
    Woo-hoo!

  • Friday, September 24, 2004

    Declare Yourself

    If you havent done so already, then by any and all means Register to Vote!

    You need a reason to vote?
    OK, here are a few:

  • If you don't vote...you can't complain.

  • This country was founded on the principles of freedom and democracy. Let's live up to our legacy. We have the right to vote, when so many other people in other coutries don't.

  • Not voting?! Consider what it would be like to have your voting priviledges immediately and permanently revoked due to your apathy.
  • Only you can silence yourself.

    We now resume our regularly scheduled blog, already in progress.

    Thursday, September 23, 2004

    Bam! Pow!


    Being gay and a superhero fan, I was pleasantly surprised to find Queer Nation, the online comic book.

    With characters named Boytoy, Miss Thang, Flamer, Bikedyke, Circuit Queen and Hunk, it's defin'ly the queerest comic around.

    Wednesday, September 22, 2004

    I can't Relax Fast Enough

    I'm so glad to have a day off. If I had the energy, I'd jump for joy.

    I went totally ballistic yesterday at work.
    We were so slow and I was on my second double shift in a row. I was tired, I was sick of just standing around and all I wanted to do was go home.
    I was in the back section, no guests had come through the door and my section was empty for over three hours. The headwaits said there was absoloutely no reason why I couldn't go home, there were more than enough servers to cover my section, so I asked Lisa (the manager on duty) if I could leave and she said no. She didn't even let me finish my scentence, which was just rude.
    The only reason she said that was to throw her wight around and it totally pissed me off.
    Crystal calmed me down and took me in back for a smoke and I calmed down and finished out my shift.

    And the managers shrug and ask themselves why they can't keep the restaurant staffed, and wonder why people quit and walk out so frequently.
    Duh!

    I am so psyched!
    As an early Birthday prestent (to myself) I ordered the Nikon CoolPix 2100 digital camera. It should arrive in two to three weeks.
    I can't wait.

    It's been wonderful having Rico. He's been pretty good most of the time.
    I'm not even minding getting up in the middle of the night to let him out so he can "conduct his business".

    As a matter of fact, in just a little while I'm taking him for a walk in the park. I want him to enjoy the outside while the weather is still nice.

    Tuesday, September 21, 2004

    Introducing . . . Rico, the Wonder Pup





    Isn't he adorable?

    Saturday, September 18, 2004

    Never-Ending Battle

    I've been Busy - with a capital "B".

    Rico (the Wonder Pup) is adjusting well to his new home.
    I've had to "puppy proof" everything. There's nothing that dog doesn't get into. He keeps trying to chew electrical cords and he needs to be watched constantly so he doesn't get into any trouble.
    He's too small to go up and down stairs and I keep worrying he's going to try and fall and hurt himself.
    I have to jump up and rush him outside when it looks like he has to "do his business". He's been pretty good at letting me know when he needs to go outside, but he's had a couple of "accidents".
    I didn't know puppies were so high-maintenance!
    But he's lots of fun, and all I want to do is play with him.
    I went out and bought a little doggie bed, an armful of squeaky toys, a rawhide bone and all sorts of other things.
    Rico is going to be one spoiled little puppy.

    All the rain we've gotten lately flooded our basement. It was only slightly, but we had to move all the stuff we had stored down there so it wouldn't get damaged.
    Yet another repair that needs to be done to the house.

    With all that (plus working) I haven't had time to post any photos yet, but it'll happen soon.
    (I promise!)

    Thursday, September 16, 2004

    I've Met Someone New

    I've met the most wonderful boy!

    His name is Rico. He's absoloutely adorable.
    I fell in love with him the first moment I laid my eyes on him.
    The best thing is that G. likes him alot too!
    As a matter of fact, he slept between us last night, and he's going to be living with us.

    Before you go thinking I'm involved in some bizarre love triangle, let me just say that Rico is a dog.
    A real dog.

    That's right, I got a puppy!

    I've never had a dog before, I've always beena cat-person, but when Gloria from work said she needed to give her puppies a good home, I simply couldn't resist.

    Rico is a dachshund / chihuahua mix, and he's the cutest thing I have ever seen.
    He's only six weeks or so old, so he's still a baby, really. I can tell by the size of his paws that he's not going to get much bigger than he already is.
    Which is great because I can carry him around in my backpack!
    And I can buy him little sweaters and hats for the wintertime and he'll be so cute!

    I still have to train him, though. But I don't anticipate much trouble with that.

    Photos of Rico will be coming soon.

    Wednesday, September 15, 2004

    Are We Not Men?

    The hostess sat a group of 32 people in my section the other day.
    "There's a job to be done and I'm just the boy to do it!" I exclaimed dramatically, hands on my hips in a superhero battle pose.

    "Why do you call yourself a boy? Aren't you a man?" Nancy asked, cocking her eyebrow and tilting her head the way she always does when she's confused.

    She wasn't the first to ask me this question.

    Yes, I'm over 18.
    Yes, I am an adult.
    Yes, I'm (more or less) a responsible adult: I work, I pay my bills, I take out the trash, I don't drink and drive, I take care of my biz.
    Etc.

    Being a 'boy" isn't a question of age, -- or of responsibility.
    It's a question of attitude.
    It's all about being youthful, being happy-go-lucky and carefree. Of seeing the wonder in the universe, and in yourself. It's about being open to new possibilities.
    Boys (bois, boyz) have more fun.

    Plus, there's all the garbage attached to the concept of the word "man".
    It's all my father's fault.
    As I grew up my father filled my head with all this primeval ideas of what being a Real Man (whatever that means) entailed.
    For example:

    • A man is a King and the home is his castle.

    • Real men don't do "women's work" (washing, cleaning, ironing, etc.)

    • Men don't cry. Ever. Not even under extreme pressure, great pain, or when a loved one dies.
    I could go on and on (and on) but you get the picture.

    I'm sure some of the girls (women, ladies) have similar lists of things taught to them by their mothers of what qualities "Real Women" possess.

    Technically, I'm an "adult male human", but that's too clumbersome of a phrase to use in everyday conversation.
    So I'll continue calling myself a boy.
    For as long as I can get away with it, anyway.

    Tuesday, September 14, 2004

    Born To Shop



    The Wonder Boy Boutique is now open for business.

    The Wonder Boy t-shirt (pictured here) is only $10. Cheap at twice the price!

    Makes a great gift for birthdays, anniversaries, bar mitzvahs, or for any occasion.


    OK, I'll stop with the hype now.

    Saturday, September 11, 2004

    Three Years Ago Today

    Recalling the events of 9/11, ol' George Dubya Bush made a Royal Proclamation:

    "Friday, September 10, through Sunday, September 12, 2004, [are to be] National Days of Prayer and Remembrance. I ask that the people of the United States and places of worship mark these National Days of Prayer and Remembrance with memorial services, the ringing of bells, and evening candlelight remembrance vigils.
    I invite the people of the world to share in these Days of Prayer and Remembrance."

    Finally, something he's done with which I can approve of.
    But doesn't he know that we would have done this anyway?

    Friday, September 10, 2004

    Drool


    After watching Smallville (Season 1) I have come to the conclusion that Eric Johnson (who played Lana's boyfriend Whitney Fordman) is one of the most gorgeous men on this planet.

    I scoured the internet, but unfortunately, a photo of Eric in the bathtub was the closest I could find to a shirtless pic-- darn it!

    Thursday, September 09, 2004

    How Well Do You Know Wonder Boy?

    You think you know me?
    Take the quiz and find out.
    Longtime readers should have no problem.

    All answers can be found on this blog somewhere, so NO CHEATING!

    Saturday, September 04, 2004

    Alcohol Is My Shepherd, I Shall Not Want

    What would Darwin say about drinking?
    Amazingly enough, some scientists believe humans evolved to enjoy alcohol.

    I would end this post by saying say that I'm off to have a drink now, but it's way too early for that.
    Plus, I have to go to work later.

    Friday, September 03, 2004

    I Am Immune To Your Propositions

    Gay men are pigs, and don't let anyone tell you any different.
    Oh, not all of them, but at least 80%, if not more.

    What am I rambling about? Here's the story:

    I'm headed downtown yesterday to do some shopping, but first I needed a mochiatto at Java Joe's. (I needed my caffeine fix.)
    G.'s got the car, so I'm waiting for the bus. Along came Bruce in his battered up Ford Escort.

    Now, Bruce is one of those people that you talk to in the bars and clubs but you never see anywhere else. ("Bar friends" is what I call them. Anyone who goes out has a few.)
    He's a few years older and not my type at all--he's got a pot belly and he's balding on top.
    I've seen Bruce around for years, and he always seemed like a decent guy.
    Pleasant to chitchat with, but other than seeing him occasionally I didn't know him, if you get my meaning.

    Anyway, he pulled up and leaned out his window.

    "Hey, Jimmy! Where are you headed?"
    "Downtown," I replied.
    "That's where I'm headed, too. Hop on in and I'll give you a lift."

    "How nice!" I thought.

    So I get in and we drove off and we talked about the weather and other mundane things, and then out of the blue he put his hand on my knee and started moving it up to my thigh.
    So I snatched his hand away and said, "Don't do that!"

    I was shocked because he knows I have a huband, and he's even seen us out on numerous occasions.
    Unperturbed at my reaction to his knee-grabbing, he said, "I don't live that far from here. What say we go to my place, I can put a porno on and I'll give you the best blow job you ever had. You don't even have to reciprocate. You can just lie there and have a beer while I work on you."

    "There's no way that's going to happen." I replied.

    "Why not?" he asked. It was obvious he was totally amazed that I was turning down his offer. "I could almost hear him thinking, A Porno, a beer, and an (so he said) excellent blow job and I didn't have to reciprocate? Who would turn down such a thing?
    "Well, my husband would have a big problem with me doing that. And so would I." I replied.
    "Oh," he says, "I respect that. I really do."

    Two blocks later as I was just about to tell him to let me out of the car, he pulled over and said, "I turn the next block, do you mind getting out here?"
    "No problem at all," I replied, getting out of the car and sighing with relief.

    I gladly walked the 12 blocks to the cafe.

    Thursday, September 02, 2004

    There's Always Someone, Somewhere Who Knows

    Fakersbusted was established with the primary purpose of keeping track of those dreaded fakers -- those people using phony photos in online profiles and in chat rooms -- and their usernames and the images they use.

    Within their pages they keep track of active fakers from various sites and once their fake butts get the big boot, their username remains forever in the Fakersbusted Hall of Shame.

    So if you've ever wondered just what happened to that hot guy or girl you were talking to, see if their username graces those pages --and find out who it is they were pretending to be.

    Wednesday, September 01, 2004

    Who's That Guy?




    One of the best things about watching The Young and the Restless is not only the great storylines of passion and peril, but also seeing hunky and adorable Thad Luckinbill who plays J.T. Hellstrom.
    Especially when he takes his shirt off!

    Some say he's "too pretty", but come on, is such a thing really possible?