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Life is only what you wonder.

Saturday, October 30, 2004

I Know Jack

It's that time of year again!
It's just not Halloween without a Jack O' Lantern. I might not do anything else, but at least I do that.
I don't go for any of the pre-designed carving patterns, though. I prefer to make my own design.

You wanna know what Halloween smells like? Open the top of a pumpkin, scoop out all of the goo and seeds, and smell inside.
That orangey-pumpkin smell? That's what Halloween smells like to me.

Happy Halloween, everybody!
I'm working Halloween night and I have no idea what I'm doing afterwards, but what else is new?

Friday, October 29, 2004

10 Things I Can See From My Bed

(Or, 10 things that become infinitely more interesting when I cannot force myself to do anything)

1.) Cordless phone and electronic organizer
Isn't there an urgent and potentially life-altering phone call I should be returning right now?

2.) Huge beer stein full of pencils, pens, and markers
I'm a pen thief. Guard any writing implements with your life or you'll never see them again (unless you catch me using one).

3.)A picture of Lynda Carter as Wonder woman
She's the diva, all right? (That Xena bitch is just a bad knock-off!)
That Lasso of Truth would come in handy now and then, wouldn't it?

4.) Pile of bills that need paying
Actually, these are pretty much easily ignored -- except when I get a cut-off notice, that is.

5.) The latest Details magazine with Ben Affleck on the cover
Yes, I'm a subscriber. Details is the gay men's bible, OK?

6.) TV, VCR, DVD, and Cable Box (with universal remote, so getting up is not even in the equation)
It's sad when you have 300 channels to choose from, and a stack of DVDs and VHS tapes and there's nothing you want to watch.

7.) Light up electric sign which reads "Happy Hour"
It's Happy Hour somewhere in the world right now, isn't it?

8.) Journal I received for my birthday last year
It's still totally blank. Why keep a journal when you can blog?

9.) Basket full of dirty clothes that need washing
Plus there's a half-dozen drinking glasses on my bedside table that need to go into the dishwasher, an ashtray full of cigarette butts that needs to be emptied, and couple of empty soda bottles that need to be thrown out.
I'm so lazy when it comes to housework. If you don't believe me, just ask my husband and he'll tell you.

10.) My dog Rico
The one being in the world who doesn't give a damn what I look like and who loves me unconditionally.
The more I'm around people, the more I love my dog.

Thursday, October 28, 2004

A Five Minute Story*

Testing Temptation

It wasn't my idea to take him home with us. I want to make that very clear from the start.
He had given us this sob story about getting kicked out of the place he was staying, and my kind hearted boyfriend offered him our couch.
His name was Mick, and I didn't really know him except for a couple of hellos and a few games of pool at the bar me and my boyfriend hang out at.
So there we were, on the sofa watching some movie on HBO and he's sitting right between us, leaning all over my boyfriend one minute and leaning all over me the next.
He had taken off his shoes and socks and I noticed he had dirt between his toes. Even so, if I said he wasn't appealing with his firm young body and angelic face, I'd be lying through my teeth.
My boyfriend yawned and went to the linen closet and got a blanket and a spare pillow and placed them on the couch and then he turned to me and said "Are you coming up?"
"In a little while." I answered. My boyfriend turned and went up the stairs, not looking behind him once.
I glanced at Mick in the blue glow of the TV. His faded Levis fit him like a second skin, and I could see his nipples through his thin white t-shirt.
"There's plenty of towels in the bathroom if you want to take a shower," I told Mick, "And there's some spare Bic disposable razors and shaving cream in the medicine cabin . . MMF!"
My sentence was cut short by Mick's mouth upon mine, his tongue darting in my mouth like an eager serpent. His arms were around my torso and I could feel his crotch rubbing against mine.
It took a few seconds to realize what was happening, but as soon as I did I pushed him away.
"What do you think you're doing?" I hissed at him, "My boyfriend is right upstairs!"
"He doesn't have to know." Mick whispered back, his mouth just inches from mine. I could smell the whiskey on his breath.
"He already does." I answered, noting with slight satisfaction his bewildered expression. I rose to go upstairs to the bedroom.
Before I left I turned to him and said, "This was a one-time deal. You need to find another place to stay tomorrow. Sleep well."
I went up the stairs to join my boyfriend who was awake and waiting for me.
"I was wondering if you were going to fuck him or not." he said.
"Why would I do that when I could have you?" I replied, and crawled into his arms.
*This is intended as a work of fiction.
It may (yet may not) be based on actual events.
Do not assume anything.

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Freak O' The Week:

Welcome to the complicated mind of a British girl with multiple personalities, many of them "genderless" and/or queer:
"We are a multiple system, by which we mean that our single body contains many different individuals and that our public identity is a group effort.
You may not believe in multiplicity or agree that we are, but you should know that this is our reality, this is how we self identify and perceive ourselves.
If it helps you, consider respecting our self perception as the same as respecting someone's religious beliefs: You don't have to believe in someone's god to respect their belief in it.
Depending on your perspective, you might consider our system to be 'mid-continuum' or 'identityqueer', but I think most people think we're pretty eccentric."
You think?

Monday, October 25, 2004


I had a great B-day!

My coworkers brought out a cake and sang to me in the middle of the restaurant Wednesday.
I thought I had outsmarted them by taking off the day before my birthday as well, but I didn't anticipate someone checking the schedule.
I'm usually opposed to such fanfare --it's embarassing-- but in the middle of the restaurant surrounded by dozens of coworkers who are clapping and cheering, the only thing to do is be gracious about it.
OK, I confess -- I enjoyed it.
An added bonus was all the guests in my section gave me really great tips. When it comes to extra money, I never say no.
My girls Mary and Mary Ellen even gave me presents, which I wasn't expecting at all.
I love my "work family"!

The night of my birthday I went out with the husband. I got toasted (literally and figuratively), I twirled (my own personal slang for drinking, socializing, and bar-hopping), consumed many alcoholic beverages, and I even kicked major butt playing pool at The Quest!
How cool is that?

As I predicted, Saturday I felt like death warmed up.
I can't complain too much, though. I brought it all on myself.

Anyway, it was very, very good -- but in a way I'm glad it's over.

Fireguy, my Omega Amigo, told me my birthday present from him is on it's way to me. He said it's something special that I am going to absolutely love and to keep checking my mailbox, but he wouldn't tell me what it is -- not even a hint!

The anticipation is going to drive me crazy!

Friday, October 22, 2004

If Today Is Your Birthday . . .

From today's New York Post (So you know it has to be true):

Your Horoscope for October 22, 2004

There will be many changes in your life over the coming 12 months, some good, some bad, some you are not quite sure of, but the one thing you can be sure of is that each and every one of them is designed to help you to improve and advance.
Life is not about luck.
Fate is not a lottery.
There is a well-thought-out design to your existence.
Yes, today is my birthday.
You know what this means?
Tonight I'm gonna party like it's 1999.

I'll be back tomorrow -- unless I'm too hung over, that is.

    P.S. Special thanxs and kisses to all of you that sent me birthday wishes!
    (You know who you are.)

Thursday, October 21, 2004

Attention All Fashionistas

Steph and Alek (of Oh La La Paris) have started a new site:
"Today --more than ever-- it is all about interpretation. A man can make a statement and highlight his originality by the way he chooses, mixes and wears his clothes and accessories.
Man Chic was created to provide a unique tool to decode trends, understand the rules (and learn how to break them) and develop your own style."
If you have a flair for fashion and want the lastest scoop on what everyone's wearing, check it out.

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Rules For Living - Part One

The amount of fun you have at an event is inversely proportionate to the amount of time it took to get ready or prepare for said event.
Addendum to this rule: It should not take you more time to get ready for an event than the amount of time the said event will occur. (i.e. It shouldn't take you five hours to get ready for a cocktail party that's going to last, at the most, three hours.)
This rule is true regardless of what the event is: going out on the town, to a cocktail party, going on a date with someone you're crazy about.

Not that you should just put on anything that's in your closet (hmmm, those red striped pants and the green and yellow polka-dotted shirt should do nicely!) and not do anything to your hair. (I would never, ever suggest that!)

BUT if you spend an hour and a half on your hair, two hours trying every article of clothing with every other article of clothing in your wardrobe, and another hour grooming yourself (plucking hairs, covering spots with concealer) --all the while mentally projecting in your head how the night is going to go-- your "good time" will royally suck.

Trust me on this.

Saturday, October 16, 2004

My Own Personal Holiday

My birthday is this Friday (the 22nd of October), and it should be no surprise that I requested Thursday, Friday, and Saturday off.
Thursday to prepare, Friday to party, and Saturday to recover (and to possibly party some more).

I treat my birthday like it's a holy day of celebration. I never went to school on my birthday and I've always requested off any job I've had, because it's my opinion that you shouldn't have to do anything you don't want to on your Special Day.
It's not that I expect that a crown should be put on my head and I'm Queen for a day (don't go there!), it's just that it's impossible for me to treat it as any other day, even though to the rest of the world that's exactly what it is.

It's a day to reflect of what I've done with my life so far. It's a time to remember all the things and events that led me here where I am today. It's a day to break out the diaries and old shoeboxes full of photos.

It's also the day when I'll drink too much, and probably party too hard.
Maybe I should get some RU21?

Friday, October 15, 2004

But Enough About You, Let's Talk About Me

Every one of us is the star of their own show, and I am definitely no exception to this.
I've gotten my digital camera less than a week ago, I've taken exactly 312 pictures and I'd have to say that around 200 of them were of . . . Myself.

Of course, most of these were deleted almost immediately, because I didn't like the expression on my face, or the lighting or angle was bad.
I never realized I was so vain. I probably even think that song is about me.

And in other news, I woke up today feeling slightly ill. My throat is all scratchy and I can't blame it on leaving the bedroom window open last night, because I didn't.

I really, really hope I'm not getting a cold. I'm a big baby when it comes to getting sick.

Thursday, October 14, 2004

He's My Baby

Rico thinks he's so tough. I was playing with him yesterday and I had his squeaky toy and I wouldn't give it back, so he decided he was going to growl at me.

He's barely a foot long, he stands maybe six inches from the ground and he doesn't even weigh 10 pounds.
His growl was so pathetic, I had to laugh. A cat purrs louder that little sound Rico made!

"Oooh! I'm afraid of you!" I told him.

It's been almost a month since I got him and already, I'm hooked. He's a part of my life now, and I love him like a parent loves their child -- he's my baby.

A nasty tomcat (who was at least three sizes bigger) came around yesterday and tried to mess with Rico, but I hissed him away.
"You mess with Rico and I'll skin you alive!" I shouted after him.

I meant every word.

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Be Vewy Vewy Quiet, I'm Hunting Men!

First it was Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, then Boy Meets Boy, and now Manhunt: The search for America's Most Gorgeous Male Model.
It's official. Bravo is the gayest network on TV.

I'm not complainin', I'm just sayin'.

I'm rooting for either Hunter or John, but is anyone else just a little disturbed that there was only one black man in the 20 models selected, and no Asians?

(Truthfully, I'm finding most of the "other models" more attractive than the 20 finalists, simply because they're less polished and more Boy-Next-Door type -- but that's just me.)

Saturday, October 09, 2004


I got my digital camera! I got my digital camera! I got my digital camera! I got my digital camera! I got my digital camera! I got my digital camera! I got my digital camera!
I took the picture above only an hour or so ago, and there it is!
I'm so excited I could burst.

Expect lots and lots of pictures of stupid crap to be posted here in the future.

Thursday, October 07, 2004

You And Me And Everything

I was raised as a Southern Baptist and was (almost literally) dragged to Sunday School and church every Sunday morning and for services Sunday evening, and sometimes evening services on Wednesdays, too.
I learned all the Bible verses and bible stories (Jonah and the Whale, Noah and the Ark, the Tower of Babel, etc.) like a good little boy, but it was very hard to justify the things I was told.
I was taught, paradoxically, that God loves all people, but that those who were sinners were going to spend eternity in Hell; We are all God's children, but homosexuals are an "abomination" to Him;
Is it any wonder I would later reject the teachings of the Christian church?
I was created, only to go to Hell?

Thus began my search for The Truth.

I started studying any religions I could find, looking for something I could believe in.
I read the Bhagavad-Gita, the Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu, I read parts of the Koran (translated of course) -- I've even read the Book of Mormon.
I've studied the mythologies of the Greeks, Romans and Egyptians.
But through it all, nothing jumped out at me and said "This is it! I've found the Answer at last! This is how everything is!"
(I'm skeptical by nature, anyway. If God Himself were to appear in all His glory, I would be the one asking Him "How do I know you're really God?")
Faith alone just doesn't work for me -- I need proof.

Eventually, after searching in vain, I came to the conclusion that there was no God.
God was just something someone invented a long time ago to keep people in line and to make them less afraid of dying.

Then, after some time passed, I changed my mind again.

This is what I came to believe:
There is a God / Supreme Being. He exists. He is in you, He is in me, He is in everything.
He created the universe out of his own Being -- his infinite ethereal substance turned into physical matter. He IS the universe -- and everything in it.
God is the divine spark that exists in everything that is alive. Your "soul" is a small fragment of his infinite Self.
We (you and me, and everything that walks, creeps, crawls, flies, lives, or grows) are God, we just don't know it.
When our bodies die (as they eventually must) our souls (memories, experiences, and life essences) simply join with with Him, and through us God experiences life.
He savors our pleasures, endures our pains, He loves and hates, laughs and cries.
How could he not?
You and I and all of us are God.

(This post inspired by his, although I think he says it better.)

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

Rose-Tint My World

I'm off to buy a present for my friend Mary.
Her birthday is this Friday and we (and some others) are supposed to be going out clubbing somewhere to celebrate.
I'm working Friday night so it really depends on how I feel after I get off work, how much money I've made, and how G. is feeling (he's been sick).
I didn't make any promises.

Speaking of birthdays, mine is coming soon (the 22nd).
I usually get depressed around my birthday. It happens every year, like clockwork.
And I know the reason is basically because I'm getting older.
I know, I know --everybody is getting older, nobody can do anything about it, you're only as old as you feel, and age ain't nothin' but a number. Blah, blah, blah.
It's not that I don't know that, but that doesn't mean that I have to like it, either.

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Who's That Guy?

I'd have to say that Seann William Scott is my absoloute favorite Pie Guy.
What makes him so hot?
I think it's because of his mouth.
Nice teeth, cute dimples, and he has a mischevious smile that makes him look like he's thinking devious thoughts or is otherwise up to no good.

Bad boys are sexy, don't you think?

Saturday, October 02, 2004

Can I Get A Witness?

The husband and I went out last night to celebrate our anniversary.
We decided to go to Grand Central because it had been awhile since we went there. Actually it had been awhile since I had been anywhere on a Friday night -- I'm always working.

I ran into my good friend Michael, who also happens to have the distinction of being my first Real Boyfriend. We've gone through alot over the years (I'm not going to say how many). We only see each other sporadically, though, and it's always nice to see him.

You know, you'd think being married five years would make me get over all the stuff that goes on in my head whenever I go out to the clubs, but it hasn't. You ever catch yourself in a thought process and been like "Why am I doing this?" It was one of those moments.
Try as I may, whenever I go out I can't help mentally comparing myself to all the other people there like it's some beauty contest or something.
I'm looking at the men and this is what's going on in my head:

    "I'm younger than him, I'm thinner than him, I'm much better looking than him, I'm better dressed than him --wait, that's a lesbian so that doesn't count, I'm thinner than him", etc.
Superficial and shallow, I know, but I can't help it. I'm almost positive that I'm not the only one who does this.
(Can I get a witness?)
Even with my husband at my side, years of conditioning can't be thrown away that easily.

Anyway, a good time was had by all, and the best part is that I'm not the least bit hung over! YAY!