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Life is only what you wonder.

Friday, January 28, 2005

How Far The Gods Hath Fallen

Are you ever having what seems to be just another ordinary day, and something happens which totally throws you for a loop?
It seems to happen to me all the time. You'd think I'd eventually get used to life's little surprises -- but I don't.

Yesterday was just another ordinary day. It's a little slow in the restaurant, and I'm spending most of my time trying to keep myself occupied. This consists mainly of nibbling on food I'm not really hungry for, or exchanging "trivia factiods" with my co-workers. A song will be playing and one of us will say, "This song is on the soundtrack to what movie?" and everyone tries to guess.
Fun, right?
My favorite person to do this with was my gal-pal Mary, but she doesn't work there anymore. I miss her.

Anyway, I'm trying not to bug my guests too much, which isn't easy to do when we're slow, and I notice this guy and a woman who appears to be his mother sitting at a table a couple sections away.
The guy looks vaguely familiar, and I'm sure I know him from somewhere, but I just can't figure out where. And after awhile it starts to bug the Hell out of me. "You know that guy," I told myself, "But from where?" And it's just nagging at me, you know?
Then like a bolt of lightning, it hits me where I know him from.

Not that long ago, or a lifetime ago, depending on your point of view, when I was single and was at the club (usually the Hippo) almost every night partying with my friends, I used to see this guy almost every time I went out. I found out his name was Jonny. He was a "speaker boy", gyrating on top of the big speaker near the dance floor, maybe a few years older, but not by much, wearing tight jeans and usually shirtless. Handsome face, good hair, body by Soloflex -- perfectly proportioned in every way. He was the object of many fantasies of mine. I'd see him dancing there, looking all buff and beautiful, and I'd think, "God, if only I could have that just for one night, one hour, 15 minutes."
One night I'll never forget I actually met him. Sort of.
I was standing at a table near the dance floor and he jumped off the speaker and stood near me and starting wiping off his sweat with his shirt that had been tucked into his back pocket. He was less than a foot from me. Now was my chance to talk to him.
"Hey." I said, "You're a great dancer," and I smiled my winning smile at him.
(OK, not the best pickup line in the world, I'll admit. I was never good at that anyway. "Come here often?" and "Where have you been all my fife?" were never really my style.) He looks at me, kind of looks me up and down, and then looks through me as if I've suddenly turned invisible, and then he walks away toward another part of the club. No response at all to anything I said. It's as if I didn't even exist.
Instead of thinking, "What an asshole!" (which would be my response these days,) I internalized it. "What's wrong with me?" I thought. I wasn't devastated and totally crushed, but I will admit it hurt me somewhat.
Well, after that I couldn't even look in his direction anymore when I would see him out. Not long after that, I didn't see him around anymore. I don't know if he moved, or what, he just wasn't around. The speaker position was filled by another gorgeous body.
Not long after that I almost totally forgot he even existed.
Almost.

Until I saw him yesterday.

Time is not kind to any of us. No matter how much you try to keep it at bay, eventually it's going to catch up with you.
Jonny doesn't look anything like he used to. He's pudgy (almost but not quite fat) with a big inner tube around his midsection. He's lost alot of hair on the top of his head, he's graying slightly at the temples and he looks so old. What the hell happened?
I guess I should be glad or gleeful. "Look at you now, fat boy! You aren't so high and mighty now, are you?"
I'm not, though. I wish I could be like that sometimes. Petty and spiteful. As hard as I try, I just can't do it.
Instead, it just made me sad. Like the idea of Michelangelo's David crumbling to dust.
It's a shame.

Is there a point to my story? Not really.
This is not a fable by Aesop. It's just something that happened.
Come up with your own moral to this story, if you really need one.