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Life is only what you wonder.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Molly Ringworm? Never Heard Of Her!

As Wonder Boy, one of my amazing powers is the ability to peer into alternate universes.
Only sporadically mind you, and always when I least expect it, but I possess that power.

Just in case you aren't aware, there are an infinite number of universes, and in them, anything that could possibly happen, did actually in fact happen. And conversely, anything that didn't (couldn't, shouldn't or wouldn't) happen, actually did. (Or didn't, as the case may be.)
My point is, conceive of any scenario you like (within reason) and in one universe or other it actually took place. (Or didn't take place, depending.)

Anyway, once you've grasped that concept (you might want to re-read that last paragraph again) then you can dig (if you will,) on this:

In an alternate universe (specifically universe #99.44-W, just in case you're keeping track), this movie (and subsequent hit soundtrack) came out, and, much to everyone's surprise, it was a total blockbuster smash -- and I was the star.
This movie was my very first film and it paved the way for me becoming internationally famous, launched my hit movie career, and when both of those faded, I eventually (after nearly a decade of obscurity and a jag in the Betty Ford clinic) landed my own sitcom on the WB and my star started to rise once again.
(What an amazing life I had in that universe!
Oh, well!)

Too bad nobody in this universe will get to see this movie, because it was really really great.
Really, it's true!
And I'm not saying that because I was in it -- even the critics liked it, and they don't like much of anything.
(That universe's Siskel and Ebert gave it two thumbs up, so you know it had to be good.)

Anyway . . .
The movie was called Look Good In Blue and here is the general plot outline:

Andy Walsh (played by yours truly) is a poor but extremely attractive and fashion-concious "New Wave boy", plagued with insecurity, who has a crush on one of the rich boys at his school, Blaine McDonnagh (played by Andrew McCarthy).
At first, after Blaine makes his attraction known, Andy can't believe that a wealthy (and terribly cute) boy like Blaine could be interested in him -- it's like a dream come true! He's had his eye on Blaine but thought him "out of his league".
When Andy and Blaine try and get together, the pair encounter resistance from their respective social circles.
Andy is ashamed of his unemployed drunken father and of his shabby home on the "wrong side of the tracks". Blaine grew up wealthy, but he's not a snob and could care less whether Andy has money or not.
Andy gets some very bad treatment from Blaine's circle of friends, especially Steff (played by James Spader). This most likely stems from Steff trying to pick up Andy for a one night stand and being rebuffed because Andy only has eyes for Blaine. Steff is used to getting whatever he wants and Andy's rejection annoys him to no end.
Likewise, Blaine gets some shabby treatment from Andy's friends when he tries to cross to the other side of town.
Andy's friends are the ultra-stylish but slightly-fem Ducky (played by John Cryer), and uber fag-hag Iona (played by Annie Potts). Iona is an eccentric older friend, mentor, and something of a fairy godmother to Andy; she wears vintage clothes and runs the record shop where Andy works after school.
Ducky has a "secret" crush on Andy, but doesn't want to risk losing their friendship, even though he makes his affection toward Andy pretty obvious.
Andy is only somewhat aware that Ducky likes him, but thinks of Ducky only as his best friend.
The film ending has Blaine and Andy overcoming their social obstacles when Andy creates a faaabulous and funky blue suit for the high school senior prom.
He "looks good in blue", and Blaine realises he's truly in love with Andy.
After he makes his feelings known to Andy (during a romantic slow dance at the prom), the couple decide to give their relationship a try -- no matter what anyone else thinks. They finally realize they're a perfect fit.
Roll the credits.
Doesn't that sound great? Wouldn't you go and see that movie?
I know I would.
And not just 'cause I was in it, either.