I am a dynamic individual, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice.
Not only do I enjoy long walks on the beach, I arrive early to pick up litter and rescue starfish.
I am able to bicycle up steep inclines. I consult with the FAA to plan safer routes for migratory birds.
During my lunch break, I recycle enough office paper to save 3.7 acres of rain forest.
I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail.
At night, I transcribe the proceedings of the Baltimore City Council into Braille.
I am the proud breeder of a fleet of champion beagles.
I do not perspire.
I tip 40% and hold doors indefinitely.
Once, I rescued hostages from an Iranian prison using only a magnifying glass and a spork.
Gary Kasparov consults me on chess.
After liberating research monkeys, I employ them to review tax returns for the IRS.
I am an ace at blackjack, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Nicaragua.
I experience significantly less gravity than the average person.
OK, maybe not all that. Or any of it, actually.
BUT . . .
When life gets me down and I think about cashing in my chips, saying "Goodbye, cruel world!" and chasing a whole box of Unisom with a fifth of Johnnie Walker Red, you know the first thing I think about?
Actually the first thing that enters my fevered brain in those moments (which rarely ever happen, by the way. Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere.) is that song by Queen.
But the very next thing is ... I don't wanna die. Sooner or later it's gonna happen anyway, nothing I can do about that, but there's no need to help it get here any faster.
And if you think about ot logically, there might not be a heaven (or a hell, for that matter) or reincarnation or anything else besides what we have right here. This might be all we get. If that's the case, take whatever you can get while you can, right?
But there's an even more important thing that keeps me going.
I love life. I like being alive.
The cup of coffee early in the morning to start my day. the look of happiness in my puppy's eyes when he sees me. Having money in my pocket. That delicious cocktail going down real smooth when I need it the most.
These things bring me joy.
And I enjoy being me.
No one else can be me as well as I can.
Who else can see the world the way I do? Who else can make the witty sarcastic remarks about everything that's going on around them like I can?
Sure, life's not always fun, and you get disappointed and depressed from time to time. but nothing worth having ever comes easy, and if it doesn't come easy then you don't really appriciate it that much.
I was put on this planet to be me, so that's just what I'll do.